showered with love

i got a sliver of morning calm as i sat quietly in the living room before the other inhabitants of the murphy home wake up, sipping on my {strong} coffee and reflecting....pretty much the summation of a perfect morning in my book.  as evidenced by my lack of posting lately, i have been slammed at work.  the boiling point has been reached and thankfully my most recent rotation, while great for the purposes of learning, has come to an end.  i think it's fair to say i have senioritis.....that same sense of apathy i remember from the end of my high school days.  it's not the most noble of ways to view your work....but i'll confess that with my current state of being {er...8 months pregnant!}, i'm just trying to "get by" on the work front.  ha! i'm just trying to get by on the life front too ;) things have become a means to an end at this point....just get through this difficult schedule so i can make it to maternity leave.  which, as any mommy knows....isn't exactly a vacation....but MUCH preferred to my here and now.

i have another tough month ahead.  72 hour work weeks for the month of September.  i try not to say it out loud too much because it sort of makes me sick to my stomach.  to be fair, part of that is little ben pressing firmly and persistently on my insides....who knew that my iron stomach would finally succumb to a bit of pregnancy nausea, and this far along no less?!  but, i'll survive like i always do and my little man will be along for the ride.  thankfully the rotation ahead involves lots of computer based work and sitting so it shouldn't be too physically taxing.....good thing because i am pretty lacking in the grace and mobility department these days ;)

the end of pregnancy has hit me with a wealth of emotions that i haven't really had time to process.  i've always been an overanalyzer....at 29 i'm at least fully aware that this is a part of who i am and that conscious admission makes it easier to plod through my feelings sometimes....but i still do it.   i'm not nervous for ben's arrival or for the juggle of two kids....i know it will be difficult.  i know it will be hard in the same way you "know" having your first will be hard....more of a figment of your imagination because, let's be honest, how can you know until the moment is here and you really KNOW?!  i worry more about making sure my little emma is adjusted and realizes that a new kid on the block doesn't mean less love and attention for her.  i worry about how i'll perform in the wife and friend department....i don't see enough of my husband and girlfriends as is!  somehow, though, deep down....i know it will all be alright.

two of my dear girlfriends, chris and emily, whom i've had the absolute joy of getting to know by virtue of those long hours spent at the hospital {we are all residents together} threw a baby shower on my behalf today.  it was such a wonderful way to celebrate ben's upcoming arrival....and really helped to break up the horrible craziness that is my schedule lately.  they made me....and emma....feel so loved.  emma was my date for this girls only affair and everyone showered her with gifts as well.  she was so happy and playful and had an absolutely wonderful time.  she was especially enthralled with the puppy sitting atop the delicious cake chris had made.  she kept going back to the cake table anxiously awaiting cake time....not so much because she wanted a sweet treat....but because she wanted that puppy!  i have to say that amidst all the wonderful gifts we received....the most meaningful of all to me was the chance to spend time with the amazing women in my life and with my favorite little girl.  those relationships push me....the motivate me....and they carry me through the times when i think i may just collapse with sheer exhaustion (now!).  thank you, wonderful women.....

we didn't take nearly enough photos but thank you elisa and emily for the ones you captured ;) and i'm sad we didn't get one of me with the fabulous party planners....but i hope you know how much i love you both and how AMAZING i think you both are!!!