full speed ahead!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009 | | 0 comments

its so funny how many times i've been asked "how's married life treating you??" in the last 3 months.  i mean, i guess its an entirely fair question. i DID just get married.  i think, however, that the concept that you get married one day and then wake up the next day and suddenly everything is completely different is not only strange....its absolutely horrifying.  luckily for me, my husband ryan is the same man as my fiance and boyfriend ryan.....and that's just how i like it :)  he's more or less the same guy i fell in love with 10 years ago and try as i might, i'm still the dorky girl he made eyes at in math class. the last three months of 2008 flew....i'm talking lightspeed.  the wedding, the honeymoon, the holidays and bam....2008 was gone.  before i even knew what hit me, it was all over.  i guess thats sort of a lie since i remember telling ryan at one point that i felt like one of those little balls in the arcade pinball machines.  i felt like i was bouncing around from event to event, dinner here, a get together there and was spinning by the time it was all said and done. the end of the year had its way with me and i was quite happy when 2009 showed its lovely face.  its been nice to slow down a little. not as many obligations and things to do. we've managed to get some considerable work started on the house - if for no other reason than its serving as a tangible way to ground me again....bring me back down to earth after all the craziness going on around me. i'm looking forward to keeping that forward momentum going.  in many ways, ryan and i have been putting so many things on hold until we find out where my residency will take us.  he's been so supportive of this journey i've chosen and some days i grapple with this immense feeling of guilt for making him wait with me.  but, we are so so close!!!  so, we woke up on January 1st and we both just threw our hands up with the waiting....i can't keep my life, our life, on hold anymore.  as i look out over 2009, i see that as a recurring theme. no more life on hold.  way more full speed ahead :)
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