random updates...

Thursday, November 29, 2012 | | 0 comments
it is a very rare occasion where i sit in an entirely quiet house on a random wednesday afternoon enjoying a warm cup of tea and a (very late) breakfast.  i managed to eat my entire bowl of oatmeal without sharing with anyone.  pandora's indie christmas station is playing in the background and deja is cuddled at my feet keeping me warm.

i am on vacation and it feels strange.  last year's "vacation" was maternity leave which, while magical even in it's most tiring moments, was not particularly restful.  i have fully established that i am not good at doing nothing....and with this establishment, i am trying really hard to do something about it.  it's not going so well.  i ache to fill the empty moments with things, errands, noise.  there is clearly much work yet to be done in the quieting department.

life is busy these days....sound familiar? time feels like sand slipping through my fingers and i keep wanting to do a simple "murphy life update" post.  i planned to include a little family update with our holiday cards so consider this my preamble ;)

this time of year is pure magic.  the only thing that makes the sentiment of the holidays more beautiful is those same holidays with my babies by my side.  emma is just shy of three years old and if i were to describe her in one word it would be "firework".  she sits in the back of my car as we cruise around town belting "baby you're a fiiiiiiiiiiiiirework!" and i think it's quite appropriate.  she shines bright ~ her eyes sparkle with wonder and a deep curiousity about the world around her.  she wants to know how things work....and why.  always why? sometimes to the point of mental exhaustion when i just can't come up with a good answer.  she commands a room and oftentimes directs us while she creates pretend situations....."mommy, you lay right here and i will put you to bed.  do you need a paci? do you want some chocolate milk?"  it's endearing and heartmelting and i love listening to her mind work out loud.  these sweet moments are punctuated with the sounds of her independence blooming...."No!", "I do NOT want to brush my teeth!" and the like abound and we just roll with the punches.  she's a tough cookie and i know this strength will serve her very very well in life.  she will move mountains one day, this one.

benjamin shines just as bright with a certain calm about him that is infectious.  he is so talkative these days....constantly babbling and chattering.  oftentimes real words come out....things like "ball!!" or "what that" and he gets particularly animated when talking about our dog "deja!".  he loves a good game of peekabo and has really perfected the ever charming act of blowing kisses.  his belly laughs fill our house when he's tickled or getting showered with strawberry kisses.  he is so strong and oftentimes doesn't realize it.  despite this strength he is also very sweet and sensitive.  he breaks down in the most heartbreaking tears if told "no thank you" or if his sister is a little too rough.  he will snuggle with me until there is no tomorrow and i will never ever get enough of this.  he is working so very hard on his walking skills....he takes steps but is very careful and cautious.  he spends most of his days standing and pushing things around the house.  he has yet to meet a food he didn't like ~ this is fine by me because there is much more of him to love this way :)  his heart is as big as he is and i can already tell, he's gonna be a lover not a fighter. i love this little man more than words are fit to describe.

ryan and i are, as you might imagine, quite exhausted!  these two, along with 2 full time jobs, keep us quite busy.  but, for all the exhaustion, there is never a dull moment in our house and we wouldn't have it any other way.  he is still working for the housing authority and learning a lot in his unique role.  in his free time, he's working hard on the various home projects we constantly have going and just finished building an outdoor kitchen for a client with one of his buddies.  it came out beautifully.....and has been added to our own list of additions :)  i'm so proud of this guy.....his ability to balance his role as father, husband, friend, employee is really quite remarkable.  i learn from him every day as he is way better in the balance department than i am.  he's such a hands on dad and the most supportive husband around.  love you, honey.

many of you know that i passed the "6 month seizure free" mark back in october.  i'm driving again and i thank my lucky stars for my health, my life, and all my blessings.  work is good but very very busy.  it can be all consuming and much of this year has been about not only learning the science and medicine itself, but how to create boundaries, draw lines in the sand, and not let my work life eat me alive!  again....a dynamic and fluid process i'm sure i will continually wrestle with.  but, i'm really enjoying what i do and couldn't be more thankful for  the opportunity to do what i love.  i'm training for my first half marathon ~ the disney princess half in february!  all i'm hoping is to not get picked up by the courtesy van that scoops up the slowest people at the tail and we are really looking forward to taking the kids to the park for their first disney experience!

we are packing up and headed to south florida this weekend to spend some time with our friends.  the kids are headed to the grandparents for some serious spoiling and everyone is excited!  we don't get away alone much and are really looking forward to some fun this weekend.  and when we get back....time to deck the halls.  i have this weird thing about holiday decorating that it feels strange to do it before december 1st.  i have no idea why since we always did it right after thanksgiving when i grew up.  i've started putting up little holiday trinkets here and there but we haven't broken out the boxes yet or gotten our tree.  we have been having fun with the newest member of our family....our elf, mr. juke....he's been quite the hit and is helping us all get in the holiday spirit :)

more to come...

special delivery : the arrival of mr. juke

Sunday, November 25, 2012 | | 0 comments
in the midst of a rough weekend (sickness abounds! want some strep throat? come on over!!)....someone showed up at our doorstep this afternoon to spread some christmas cheer.

as we unpacked our bags from a quick weekend away....the doorbell rang.  the kids startled a bit an wondered what was going on.  we usually know when visitors are coming and were caught a little off guard.

with some encouragement from her daddy, emma cautiously opened the door.  sitting in the entry with two chocolate kisses in hand was someone we've been talking a lot about in the murphy house lately.  our elf! straight from the north pole!

the kids got super excited and i scooped him up, explaining that this would likely be the only time any of us were allowed to hold him.  they ate their candy and we read the book that came with mr. elf (emma decided that this was most definitely a BOY elf and promptly began blowing kisses.  her exact words were "i can hardly believe it!!").  we learned about his christmas magic and how he flies to see santa every night to give report on how emma and ben have been doing each day.  we can't touch him or else he'll lose that magic and will never make it back to santa.  we also learned that he can't talk to us.....but we can talk to him and he will listen intently to everything we say.

in order for the christmas magic to begin, children must give their elf a name.  emma has the upper hand on this for the moment since she's the only one who can really talk....if it were up to ben, elf's name would be "ball!" or "what that?!".  for now, emma has chosen "Mr. Juke."  lord only knows where that came from or what it means but "Mr. Juke" it is.  don't worry sweet ben, next year you'll get to add your thoughts on the subject too :)

for now....lets get this christmas magic party started!!

Add caption

mischief maker

blowing kisses to her new friend
introducing....Mr. Juke!

giving thanks

Thursday, November 22, 2012 | | 0 comments
who has been a super bad blogger lately?  THIS girl.  things have been {good} busy in the murphy world and i promise to jump back on the bandwagon soon.

for today though...just a few thoughts on thanksgiving.

while today is the national holiday of giving thanks....may we all remember to carry that forward into our everyday lives.  i find comfort in thinking of "thanksgiving" more as a concept and way of life rather than a day we celebrate once a year.  there is much to be grateful for....both big and small.  those things are easily seen on days like today, when many of us are surrounded by the ones we love the most with delicious food to enjoy.  the warmth of the love of my family and a wonderful meal shared is perhaps the perfect way to spend any day.  the thanksgiving traditions created by my parents and the ones i now get to create with my children is something i look forward to all year.   dad, if you're reading this, hope you dusted off the "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" because we'll be watching it later.  chevy chase is a Thanksgiving staple in our family.

it's a little harder to remember our gratitude on days that wear at our edges, days that challenge us, or aren't so obviously grand.  it's in those days i think it's even more important to remember.  give thanks for all that you have. all that you are. and all that you have the potential to be.

today i am thankful for the love in my life.  my sweet husband and dreamy littles.  for a family that loves me no matter what.  for supportive and fabulous friends.  for a work life that while really hard, is also really gratifying.  for patients who trust me to walk with them in their darkest hour. i'm thankful for my own health ~ knees that (usually) allow me to keep running and a brain that (usually) allows me to keep on thinking ;) and i'm thankful that i am here to enjoy it all.

happiest of thanksgiving to you all.  may the spirit of the season stay with you all year long :)

six months later :: on perspective gained

Friday, November 2, 2012 | | 0 comments
as we headed to the restaurant that night, he reached his hand across the center console and grabbed mine. just like he always does.   the sun was setting and we both smiled as emma was singing in the back and ben sat jabbering away.  he gave my hand an extra squeeze.....one we both could silently understand.  six months ago, life looked very different.

as i stood in front of the mirror earlier that morning, getting ready, it hit me.  i thought the day would be marked on my calendar yet it crept up and surprised me.

six months ago, friday, i had a seizure.  and a big one at that.  and then another in the emergency room. A CT scan, 2 MRIs, a spinal tap, 2 EEGs, lots of bloodwork, and one prescription later....everything looks to be OK.  {nothing like a little sleep deprivation and some electrolyte imbalance to really send you over the edge.}

six months ago, last friday, my life flashed before my eyes.  all the things i'd been so sure of all along suddenly weren't so sure anymore and for a few moments {that turned into days that turned into weeks} i wasn't sure life would ever be the same.  would i get to see my kids grow up? would i get to celebrate my next wedding anniversary? what about my job ~ would i get to start fellowship as planned? or be around for that at all?

strangely enough, life hasn't been the same. it's been better.  are you crazy, m?  ha...maybe just a little. but it's true.

sure, there is the medication to take and the six month break from driving {now THAT was frustrating} and the little voice in the back of my head that whispers "what if you have another seizure?".  but then there is the perspective.  the wonderous perspective. the reminder that, despite what the song may say, time is not on our side.  that life is more precious and fleeting than any of us can really wrap our minds around.  that there is beauty in the breakdown.  that every moment of my life is valuable and one that i'll never get back.  it has taught me to love more deeply, forgive more easily, and to try my absolute hardest not sweat the small stuff.

i have so much gratitude to express to the small handful of magically wonderful people in my life.  without you, dear family and friends, i never would have made it through this last 6 months. for all your love, words of encouragement, rides all over town, and unwavering support.....THANK YOU.  it isn't nearly enough to say....but thank you.  you mean the world to me.

so my friday message is this :: take the time today to really bask in the beauty that is your life.  be thankful for all the wonderful things that fill it up.  it really is beautiful.

here's to healthy brains & happy hearts!


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