doctors orders

Tuesday, September 20, 2011 |

well....here i am. 35 weeks pregnant, laying in bed, feet propped up, feeling simultaneously frustrated and relieved all in one. we saw the doctor today and he was adamant that my work schedule (7pm to 7am, 6 days a week....do that math!) was putting me at a significantly increased risk for preterm labor.  especially after friday's little incident. so, here i am. i spent the day sleeping off my overnight shift and this evening with my family.

it's hard to call in, believe it or not.  my inability to work nights means that someone that i work with has to do it in my place and for that i feel very very guilty.  i never wanted {or intended} for my decision to get pregnant to effect anyone else yet now that's exactly what's happened.  so i'm frustrated....and feel like, with the way my work schedule was constructed, i was sort of set up to fail.  how can someone as far along as i am, with a toddler at home, honestly be expected to work nearly 80 hours a week the month before they give birth?  i gave it a fighting shot, i'll say that.....and ben {and the doc} said heck no! sigh....

i'm also relieved.  i've been on edge since friday worried that something bad was about to happen. and by "bad" i mean an early appearance on the part of mr. murphy jr.  last night felt exactly like friday and i just couldn't relax my way out of it.  the doctor said that if ben was born now, he would be normal and healthy....but he wouldn't leave the hospital with us because he would need to stay in the NICU for a bit.  umm...hello!!! that is NOT happening, not if i have anything to say about it.  tonight, i was there for dinnertime, and bathtime, and bedtime too.  i spent precious moments with my little emma in what i see as a very critical time in her little life.  so much is changing for her right now....the house, her big girl room and transition to her big girl bed, potty training, and of course the upcoming arrival of her baby brother.  it literally felt like someone was stabbing me in the chest every day that i would be gone for 12 hours at work and would miss these moments of quality time that she needs me present for....now more than ever.  it's alot of adjustment for her and i need and want desperately to be here for her....not just emotionally but physically. and now i'll get to do just that.  i'll get to take care of BOTH of my kids and myself all at once.

so, tonight i'll catch up on some sleep and watch the season premier of glee with the hubs.  and probably eat ice cream and try and convince mr. murphy sr. to give me a foot massage.  i'm sneaky like that ;) hopefully this adjustment in my schedule will calm things down for me and benny a bit and we can finish this ride out together in the standard usual fashion!!

0 comments:

Post a Comment

Newer Posts Older Posts Home
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...