random thoughts

in 6 weeks and 2 days....if not sooner {and i won't accept later as a possibility}...we will be a family of 4! pretty hard to imagine....although the reality is starting to slowly sink in. as i start to wash ben's growing wardrobe in scent free detergent and begin to grow weary of the ankle swelling and inability to eat more than 3 bites at any one sitting....it is starting to hit me that i am about to meet my son.  i'm trying to remember how i felt in the days just prior to emma's arrival ~ mostly i just remember wanting to hold her, see her, and breathe her in.  {i also remember feeling obscenely uncomfortable as she completely took over my small frame!}. i feel much the same about my little benjamin. i just can't wait to see him, hold him, and welcome into a home filled with love. 

work is grueling.  i confess that part of me takes immense pride in the fact that at nearly 34 weeks pregnant and with a very active toddler at home, i'm able to fight the good fight and hang with my coworkers who aren't lugging around an extra 28 pounds.  i'm exhausted and should probably be sitting at home with my feet propped up somewhere instead of working 72 hours a week....but i'm not.  not to worry....i'm drinking my water, wearing my compression stockings (sexy!), and carefully paying attention to the braxton hicks contractions that grow stronger by the day.  he is happy and healthy inside and is along for the ride.  ben has, while in utero, admitted hundreds of patients, put in 20 or so central lines, run several codes, and performed a slew of other doctor duties!  he's a renaissance baby ;)  my work life, in that way, is unconventional....and while i'm no superwoman....i know i'll look back at this and be a smidge proud of how hard i worked despite my ahem...physical limitations ;)  no offense to anyone out there as life is certainly NOT about comparison.....but don't tell me how tired you are because i'm pretty sure i've got you beat.

emma keeps me going and tires me out all at once ;)  i live for my fleeting moments at home this month where i just soak her in....and i keep longing for the start of october and a life completely dedicated to time with my family again.  she had us in stitches over the weekend with her new phrase..."oh my GOSH" which she says on repeat...it's hysterical. the intonation in her voice is so sassy and makes me think the words are coming from her inner 13 year old self.  sunday evening, after a very fun day off, we were doing our typical nighttime routine.....dinner, bath, milk + nighttime story, "brushy brushy" {emma's terminology for brushing her teeth} when she had a VERY big girl moment.  she was stark naked running around the bathroom in preparation for bathtime when she sat on her big girl potty and used it for the very first time!!!!!!!! she was SO proud of herself....her pride second only to ours as we clapped and cheered :)

i haven't had any time for the photo editing i love lately so all of these photos are straight from the camera.  they still make me happy :)

we sat on the front porch and blew bubbles....

emma said hello to every passerby....

....did a little explorative landscaping....

...and discovered the value of a good applesauce hair treatment :)

the home renovation is coming to a close!!  a few final things are coming together and voila!...we have a beautiful new calm space to call our own. and as of this weekend, emma will be moved into her BIG GIRL room.  pictures coming soon! as i type....ryan, heiko, and julie are slapping a beautiful coat of buttercream paint on emma's walls.  i helped too....until i got to the corner and my belly was touching one wall while my bum was touching the other....that's my cue to exit stage right ;)

hey, when you look like THIS....

...what do you expect??