sweet child of mine: benjamin turns 2

Sunday, October 20, 2013 | | 0 comments
oh sweet benjamin.

2 years ago to this day, we welcomed our little dude into the world.  it seems like it was yesterday....yet at the same time i can truly not remember life without him.

benjamin, you have always been blessed with the sweetest of temperaments.  even as a tiny baby, it has always been your nature to snuggle and as you grew a bit older, you began to grace us with the same smiles and laughter that fill our home to this day.  it has been this last year, though, in which your magical personality has really blossomed.  you have the greatest sense of humor and not only do you spend most of your time happy, you truly make an effort to try and make other people smile & laugh as well.  it's pretty remarkable, honestly.  you are a little boy in the truest of senses.....you LOVE trucks and as we drive to school each day not only do you have one in each hand but you point out all the ones that pass us by.  you love to run and jump and tumble....you put on quite the show the other night as you jumped in the air and landed on your bottom over and over and over each time followed by a hysterical new "maniac laugh" and i truly believe that you were trying to entertain the crowd! (and that you did!).  and, much to your mommy's happiness you, despite your wild boy antics, still maintain your love for hugs and cuddles (please don't ever lose that part, okay? deal?).  you are the best of both worlds.  you are the best of our world and we love you beyond measure.  you AND your sister who is clearly becoming one of your best friends.

and to top it all off, you are the spitting image of your daddy.  cue my melting heart.

you talk ALOT. in full sentences and say the cutest things.  you love to read and in quiet moments, we usually find you in the reading corner of your playroom reading a book (usually about trucks) aloud.

the issues we are having with your phosphorus levels and the bowing in your legs are working out.  i wanted to mention them here because this issue is NOT who you are but it is part of your story.  you are such a champ with your medication and make us so proud.  we met with the orthopedic surgeon on Friday who gave us the great news that you do not need leg braces and even better, no surgery.  you are going to meet with a physical therapist this upcoming week who will give us some fun exercises and games to play at home to help you run, jump, and tumble even better than you already do.  oh yes!

we spent yesterday celebrating you and all the unbelievable joy you bring to our life.  your grandparents, your aunt ellie, and babysitter turned member of our family + friend natalie + stephen joined in on the fun.  you ate LOTS of treats and got lots of love and attention (whats new?!).  you opened presents....your favorite of which was a new fishing pole.  you have spent the last few weeks wandering into the garage and finding daddy's poles so we thought this might be a good fit for you.  boy were we right.  this was one of the first gifts you opened and it was a looooong time before another gift was touched.  you danced and squealed and yelled to everyone, "look it! my fishing pole!".  when we tried to encourage another gift be opened....you ran to your room with your pole and shut the door!!!

sweet boy, you are just the most amazing person.  we love you more than you can possibly understand. you are our purpose and being your mommy is the greatest blessing in my life.  i love you to the moon & back and even more than that.

happy 2nd birthday, big boy.  here's to endless adventures to come!  love, mommy.

hitting the reset button : back from vacation

Sunday, October 13, 2013 | | 0 comments
i started this post weeks ago and never felt compelled to post it mostly because i never finished it but also because i didn't really have anything pretty to say.  it was just a rant.  a stream of consciousness vent session that i needed to have with and for myself.  


this one isn't going to be pretty.  and that's ok.  truthfully, i think i just need to start writing again or else my brain may just not know what else to do.  

i've avoided this post for weeks.  i've sat down to write only to hit backspace a million times....deterred by the fact that nothing i've had nothing beautiful or eloquent to say. by the fact that i can't make the words sound good or tie my thoughts together in a reasonable fashion.  it's frustrating, really.....as its the very thing i couldn't do that probably would have helped in these last weeks.

i've been in a funk and i'm not really sure why.  life is good and true and promising....but my head has been in a fog for the last few weeks.  the busy-ness of our life....2 very demanding full time DAY jobs, 2 very activeandbustling littles, a loving marriage & foundation to tend to, our SELVES to tend to...and all the other little things in between.....well, its catching up to me lately.  its overwhelming and hard and while i know we can do hard things....very hard things....i am just, as my grandmother used to say, plum tired.

i'm 31 and i am tired.  join the club right? i saw a quote a few weeks back...."adult life : if you're not tired, you are not doing it right".  i laughed when i read it....maybe i'm really not the only one.  the only one who crawls out of bed at 4:30 and back in at 10....with all the moments in between a jumble of caring for others (which i love) and gulping coffee (which i also really love).  sometimes i remember to eat lunch or dinner.  more often than that i get in a tough workout.  and despite my exhaustion i never forget to be mindful of this life, the health of my family, and all of our blessings.

but man would it feel good for things to slow down a bit.  for the whirlwind of life to just settle for a few moments so i could see through the dust and figure out just what in the hell is going on.  there will be time for peace and quiet someday...


...peace and quiet came.  in the form of an adults only trip to California for Ryan and me in honor of our upcoming 5 year wedding anniversary.  5 years married to the most wonderful man.  it has been a very busy, hectic, and sometimes stressful 5 years....but 5 years that i wouldn't change for the world.  we traveled to San Francisco and then onward to wine country.....Sonoma in particular although we did venture to Napa and some of the surrounding towns.  it was a trip full of fun, adventure, beautiful scenery (and of course delicious food and wine)....but perhaps more important than all of that.....a complete and total RECHARGE for us both. {i'll save some photos of the trip for another post. if you follow me on Instagram, you've probably gotten sick of them by now!}

we have both been nose-to-the-ground working nonstop for as long as i can remember.  deprived of sleep in a major way and trying hard to balance all the responsibilities in our life.  we do go on a weekly date night and, as all couples do, find ways to keep the romance alive despite not having all the time in the world to devote to deep and meaningful conversations.

but the trip changed all that.  we got to sleep uninterrupted and as late as we want.  we were able to finish each meal without distraction and actually got to talk about anything at all without the commentary of little ones in the foreground.  we walked streets hand in hand and remembered what complete and total US time is all about.  like i said.....a complete and total RECHARGE.  it was glorious.

and the looks on those little faces when we landed back in Gainesville....another reminder that this is what life is all about.  their faces were gleaming with complete and total joy....i have never seen smiles so big.  emma ran straight towards us screaming "Mommy! Daddy!" followed by hugs and kisses for us both.  benjamin, adept at the cool "lean in" hug dove into me, wrapped both his arms tightly around my neck and yelled "Mommy!" right as he planted a big sloppy "no paci kiss" on my mouth.

its really really good to be home.  and it was really really nice to get away.

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