yesterday was quite fantastic actually. i woke up feeling like myself again. it's been about 3 weeks since i could say that and it was the best kind of way to start the day. i've been taking boatloads of vitamins along with my medicaion and trying as hard as i can to focus some attention on myself....i.e. eating super healthfully (if you're looking for an amazing breakfast smoothie, i suggest this), light exercise, rest. it sounds simple enough but it's not at all, not for me at least....especially not with 3 other people in my house i'd rather focus my attention on. but, i'm getting there....i WILL get there. i've been able to study and actually retain the information.....something i was really worried about right when this all happened. other folks work with their hands, i work with my brain....so to have it stunned was a little concerning. but things are looking good!
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sunday was, of course, mothers day. what i will say about my own mother is that she is amazing. she has been one of my biggest cheerleaders, supporters, and advisors along my life's journey. times like the present are just a reminder of how wonderful she is. i'm almost 30 years old....but sometimes you JUST need your mommy.
being a mom, for me, is impossible to put into words. i still remember exactly the way i felt....completely different yet entirely the same....the first time i saw emma and ben. sort of an out of body experience, really. the world hazes out around me and all i can see is this tiny person who i helped create....and who will forever continue to help create me. probably the closest i can imagine coming to "god", whatever that means to you. being a mom is beautiful. it's hard as hell to. it's wracked with guilt and always wondering if you're doing the right thing. i'm exhausted and probably need to work on finding more time for myself. but my kids are my world. and before long....emma won't want me to hold her hand in public and ben won't belly laugh when i kiss his neck....so i'm milking it as long as i can. i've lost myself in these kids, in this role, but i've found myself here too.
i figured with mothers day having just passed....it was high time i updated about the kiddos. so here goes.
emma is 27 months (had to actually count that out on my fingers, you guys!), almost 2 and a half. she is nearly potty trained {in her "princess panties" all day except for naptime and nighttime} and sleeps in a big girl bed. she is very much playing the part of the 2 year old she is ~ exerting her independence fiercely and loves to be showered with attention. we joke that her campaign slogan is "Look At Me!" because she says it constantly. she loves to color {oftentimes outside the designated paper lines, say on something like.....the couch}, has a new found obsession with The Lion King, and is just about the funniest person i know. she speaks in full sentences and MAN does she come up with some funny ones. just the other day we went for a walk with the grandmas for mothers day....she ran ahead and was barking orders "Come this way, grandma. Now!".....we were clearly going too slow for her when she asked "Are you coming kiddos? Let's go!". she is very opinionated and will tell you "no, i do not like that" if she does not approve of something, anything. she has a very big heart and tells everyone "i love you!". she fights bedtime and bathtime but we've gotten into a groove lately. she and i lay in bed after her bath and read books and talk about her day. i ask her "what was your favorite part of today" and she gives me any variety of answers. lately....she's been very concerned with her teacher nina who has been out sick. every night she tells me...."mommy, miss nina is sick. maybe she get some medicine". oh that little girl. gets me everytime.
benjamin is just shy of 7 months {this sunday} and as i type i'm simultaneously scratching my head....how did this happen??? talk about a happy baby. this child is never NOT smiling. he is so laid back and joyful you'd think he was up to something. but no....he's just that way. he's a chatterbox like his sister and really loves making noise....he bangs on his piano like a champ and get's quite a bit of enjoyment out of smashing toys together as loudly as possible. he's enormous ~ at almost 7 months he is wearing 12-18 month clothes {with an emphasis on the 18mo}! he loves tummy time and is getting awfully close to crawling....then my life is REALLY over. he's a snuggly little dude...loves to be held and get loved on. we're working with about 12 hours of sleep a night along with 3 hour long naps during the day. i'll take it! :) he loves to eat and does so vigorously....it is not infreqent that you'll see him try and shove an entire fistful of puffs in his mouth. we gave watermelon a try this weekend....the texture and coldness was perfect for those little teething gums. he was flapping his arms up and down signaling "MORE!"....i thought he was going to fly away he was so excited about all of this. sure, i'm a little biased....but this kid is just the greatest.
aaaaand now, it's time to try and make tuesday live up to monday. i think i can, i think i can.
1 comments:
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