ben soaked it all up and enjoyed being passed from family member to family member.....he got quite the load of snuggles last night and i know he loved every last minute. yesterday marked 3 months and i fall more and more in love with him every single day. between his flirtatious grins and soft coos, he's got me smitten. there really IS something about a mother and her son...
i had been running around all day furiously trying to get everything done....funny how my "days off" from work are mysteriously filled with some kind of excitement! funny how ALL my moments are now filled with some kind of excitement ;) i had intended on getting a lot done. i look back to my life pre-kids and wonder in sort of a disgusted amazement....what the HECK did i do with all that free time?? life now forces me to be infinitely more efficient and much more flexible. oh...that cake you baked didn't come out exactly as planned....too bad 'cause you don't have time to fix it. wanted to fit ALL 5 errands in this morning....oh well, moving on! in a way, having kids has proved to be therapy of sorts because it constantly forces me to evaluate how truly, seriously, honestly important something is. sometimes though....dang it if i don't just want to have my cake and eat it to! ha! my point here is that i had a list way too long to get done in a day...but fancying myself superwoman...i tried....and then got frustrated when i didn't have time to get everything together that i had planned. it sounds so stupid as i type it out...but i wanted emma and ben to be able to look back at this day and be proud of what i had put together. to know that each one of these milestones in their lives, and even more so the simple everyday moments in between, are what my life is all about. that i love them more than words are fit to describe....and somehow think that the perfectly executed shin dig will help get the depth of my emotion across. it sounds foolish, i know. even more foolish is how, deep down, i want so badly to be able to "have it all together". to be that girl, that renaissance woman, who can be a loving mom, doting wife, fabulous friend, skilled doctor, domestic diva, fashion forward, physically fit wonder woman....in a ridiculously impossible nutshell.
BUT. then i see a little girl with a brightly lit smile, a little dude with an ear to ear grin, & my amazing husband {the one who keeps me together} with wide open arms....and i check myself. who cares, martina....who really cares about all those silly little things that really aren't important? who needs you to be wonder woman? not them, i remind myself. and not me.
so....without further ado....birthday party pictures. i can't believe that one year ago, little emma wasn't even walking yet and little ben was just a figment of our imaginations. and here we are :)
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