i've been thinking about this post for weeks. weeks upon weeks. up until now i've measured her life in months but as of today, i'll have to start measuring it in years. i can't even believe how fast time flies.
i'm not even sure where to begin when it comes to expressing the feelings i have about our little one. year. old. there really is no way to describe it other than to say that i've never known such overwhelming love. becoming a mother, HER mother, has been the greatest blessing of my life and this has been the best year of my life without a doubt. she makes every one of my days worth waking up for no matter what craziness is going on in the world around us.
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| {minutes old} |
the day she was born, ryan and i rode hand in hand to the hospital. we were silent the entire ride there....in a bit of shock and awe of the day before us. i remember walking onto the labor and delivery ward so proud. I was going to have a baby that day, i was going to become a mommy. our nurse was wonderful and with every ratcheting up of the pitocin, she gave me a grape popsicle which only partially offset the pain. we had a few visitors as i labored but mostly the room was filled with me, ryan, and our anticipation. before we knew it, it was time to push. i remember ryan and i meeting eyes....exchanging "seriously???" glances. he grabbed my arm and off we went....ready for life to change forever and to meet our daughter for the first time. i pushed 5 times. 5 times and suddenly....there she was. eyes wide open staring at ryan and i. all three of us started crying simultaneously....hers being the most beautiful cry of all. the doctor helped ryan cut her cord and it was official. we spent 45 beautiful minutes alone together as a family for the first time. i will cherish those moments for all of my days.
we have also cherished all 525,600 minutes of her first year of life. becoming parents has been the most remarkable gift and getting to know this beautiful child has been the BEST way to spend a year. there have been moments of all kinds....joy, fear, laughter, exhaustion, excitement, frustration, digust (poopy diapers, hello!), FUN!.....and pretty much everything in between. every first, and there were lots this year, has been cause for celebration. the process of spoiling her rotten has long since begun thanks to her grandparents, uncles, and multitude of friends. we love how loved she is....and how she loves in return. if you've seen the arm flailing, toothy grins, and squeals.....she loves YOU! ;)
speaking of love, she has taught me more about love....and more about the woman i am and want to be....in one year than i could learn in a lifetime. because of her my heart is more kind, full, and patient and i have a constant driving force to be better for myself, for our family, and for HER every day. i take alot of pride and put alot of pressure on myself being the mother to a little girl. i know the trials and tribulations that little girls face growing up and while she doesn't have to deal with those things yet, i know one day she will and i hope to be strong and brave and everything she needs me to be. being a mom is the hardest job on earth. i never understood that before i became her mommy but now i certainly do. it's the hardest job on earth but it's the most meaningful and gratifying job around....and i am blessed to call myself Emma's mommy.
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| {our big girl} |
thank you baby girl for 525,600 minutes that we'll never forget....and for many more that we just can't wait for! we love you to the moon and back, and always always will. HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY!!!!!!
{we'll be celebrating party style on saturday...can't wait to share pictures with you all!!!}
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