it's not as if things aren't happening. they are. exciting things, random things, everyday things. life is happening in all it's wonderful hectic glory. but the words, they definitely are not happening.
i don't have a good reason why. this often happens to me in times of busy-ness and is usually a sign that i'm not taking enough time for myself, that my brain is overloaded. if there is one thing i can say about the last year, and especially after this, it's that i've learned to pay more attention to what that feels like. that state of chronic exhaustion that tends to plague me....with good reason for i have 2 beautiful babies, a wonderful husband, sweet friends, and a career i love to show for it.....has this funny way of rearing it's ugly head at times. it's hard to put a finger on except for the extreme desire to close my eyes at all times and the increasing daily coffee requirements. it's a place i've learned to live....but every so often my cup runneth over.
so i do what any real tried and true type a personality would do and i organize. i plan. i whittle my schedule down to the bare essentials. i re-evaluate that to-do list. and i run. some of my best runs happen during the busy-ness.
one of my close friends said to me, "you always look like you have it all together" as we made plans for a group dinner a few weeks back. i laughed out loud and assured her that despite a perception that came as a total shock to me....i do NOT have it all together. i am 30 years old an am still trying to learn to listen to that voice inside that says it's OK to slow down, it's OK to pay attention to yourself even if its just for a few moments a day. in all honesty, i continue to be really bad at this. they say the struggle is part of the story, right? so to my sweet friend (you know who you are!)....i love you and was quite flattered by your kind words....but please do not think i have it all together.
so i'm struggling to slow down, to simplify, to carve out a little more time for me....what's new? it's beginning to sound like a broken record around this place! eventually though, if i can swing the balance a little back in my favor,...the words will come back to me just like they always do. thanks for being patient with me.
in the meantime....the pictures will speak for me.
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when the house is mysteriously quiet, i often find them doing this. together. and it melts me everytime.
some shots from an easter gathering. my kids like candy yet we are trying to teach them that these holidays are about more than chocolate. a work in progress....
its finally starting to look and feel like spring around here. ben stands pounding on the door as he screams "OW-TIDE!" ~ and with that, you will often find us outside these days.
and finally....life via instagram (follow me @martinamurphy). warning...my name is martina and i am an instagram-holic.
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