six months later :: on perspective gained

as we headed to the restaurant that night, he reached his hand across the center console and grabbed mine. just like he always does.   the sun was setting and we both smiled as emma was singing in the back and ben sat jabbering away.  he gave my hand an extra squeeze.....one we both could silently understand.  six months ago, life looked very different.

as i stood in front of the mirror earlier that morning, getting ready, it hit me.  i thought the day would be marked on my calendar yet it crept up and surprised me.

six months ago, friday, i had a seizure.  and a big one at that.  and then another in the emergency room. A CT scan, 2 MRIs, a spinal tap, 2 EEGs, lots of bloodwork, and one prescription later....everything looks to be OK.  {nothing like a little sleep deprivation and some electrolyte imbalance to really send you over the edge.}

six months ago, last friday, my life flashed before my eyes.  all the things i'd been so sure of all along suddenly weren't so sure anymore and for a few moments {that turned into days that turned into weeks} i wasn't sure life would ever be the same.  would i get to see my kids grow up? would i get to celebrate my next wedding anniversary? what about my job ~ would i get to start fellowship as planned? or be around for that at all?

strangely enough, life hasn't been the same. it's been better.  are you crazy, m?  ha...maybe just a little. but it's true.

sure, there is the medication to take and the six month break from driving {now THAT was frustrating} and the little voice in the back of my head that whispers "what if you have another seizure?".  but then there is the perspective.  the wonderous perspective. the reminder that, despite what the song may say, time is not on our side.  that life is more precious and fleeting than any of us can really wrap our minds around.  that there is beauty in the breakdown.  that every moment of my life is valuable and one that i'll never get back.  it has taught me to love more deeply, forgive more easily, and to try my absolute hardest not sweat the small stuff.

i have so much gratitude to express to the small handful of magically wonderful people in my life.  without you, dear family and friends, i never would have made it through this last 6 months. for all your love, words of encouragement, rides all over town, and unwavering support.....THANK YOU.  it isn't nearly enough to say....but thank you.  you mean the world to me.

so my friday message is this :: take the time today to really bask in the beauty that is your life.  be thankful for all the wonderful things that fill it up.  it really is beautiful.

here's to healthy brains & happy hearts!

{jennhopkinsphotography.com}