The recent weeks have found me reunited with my first friend. Yep. The first one. Elisa and I shared a nanny growing up, Mama Marlena, and then attended pre-school together. Holy Trinity was not only a church but the home of every preschoolers dream. Outside the beautiful old church was a gigantic playground filled with every imaginable accoutrement....a chain link gated heaven for all those under the age of 5. We were inseparable...me with my bossy loud mouth and her with the soft spoken beauty. I was such a little monster back then....always making her play the boy when we played house and even going to far as to push her from the monkey bars because it was "my turn". That little fiasco ended up in me getting my turn and Elisa suffering a broken arm. Yet, still she loved me and was my best friend. That cliche quote, you know..."Friends are the ones who know everything about you and love you anyway" most definitely applies. Thankfully I've done a little maturing since then ;) We parted ways during grade school, each attending different schools on different sides of town. We would bump into each other occasionally during high school and college but mostly heard of each other through our parents. I heard about how she decided to move to Miami to go to PT school and I know she must have heard how I finished college and moved to D.C. only to return to Gainesville for medical school.
The past couple of years have been a rollercoaster for me....finding where I fit hasn't exactly been the stroll in the park we all dream of. I might go so far as to say I've officially suffered and recovered from my quarterlife crisis (maybe this means I'll be spared one in midlife!). Sparing dramatic details...I've dealt with the dissolution and subsequent bottom-up reconstruction of an almost 10 year relationship, lost friendships I thought were true, and the realization that the career I had thought for so long was so right was really, in fact, totally wrong. Through all the ups and downs....the end of this year has brought me full circle in every definition of the term. I am getting married to an amazing man in a little under 4 months. Finally I can say that I have never been in a relationship that not only nurtures and supports my being but that also allows me to flourish independently at the same time. It's wonderful and through all the struggle has turned into one of the brightest spots in my life. I am proud of the way that we have fought and worked for this, have made it work for us individually and as a couple, and for the commitment we both have towards the work we will continue to do in the future. He is the love of my life. I have taken inventory on the friends in my life and while it certainly has not been easy - losing friends is never ever easy - have finally surrounded myself with a group of individuals who I am proud to call friends. People to make a real difference in the world and who love and respect me for being unabashedly me, whatever that entails :). Even the career thing panned out. I've realized that my calling lies in Oncology. I have a deep emotional aspect to my personality and I believe that I have the reserve to give to a career like oncology. I have never met a patient population to rewarding to work with. There is always beauty and gratitude in my encounters. Moreover, something magical happens when faced with a potentially terminal illness....you become grateful for the little things, you live in the moment...and something about that mentality, that life, is inspiring to me. I just wish more people could find that place without serious illness. The moral of the story is that all of these things, these discoveries, add up to something more valuable to me than gold. I finally found Martina.
Last month, I got off the elevator on the 11th floor of Shands, eager to start my rotation on the Heme/Onc service. I walked excitedly towards the nurse's station contemplating the experience this month would bring. And there she was. My first friend. A sort of symbol in my mind for the full circle discovery of myself that this past few years have entailed. She had moved back to Gainesville and gotten a job as a physical therapist at the hospital and just so happened to be working on the 11th floor. The remarkable thing to me is the way that after years and years of distance....certain friendships can pick up right where they left off. While we have taken very different roads to get there, we meet again at similar stages in life with similar stories and experiences to share. I am astounded at how after all this time, we can be so different yet so alike all at the same time. It's equally as strange to me that in talking with her, at work, at the mall, at the gym, how I feel like we haven't missed a moment in each other's lives. She is just as amazing and talented as the way I remember her and I am proud that she will still call me a friend. Just to be safe....next time we find ourselves on a playground....it's her turn on the monkey bars :)
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