THERE she is :)

just a few cuties of our cutie tonight. you can see the light returning to her eyes as she starts to feel better and better.....and i just had to share!

she spent the evening perfecting her new game of crawling into the space between the kitchen stool legs and then out again....over and over and over again. she found this, and our game of footsie, to be absolutely hysterical. it's good to have our beanie back :)

ugh. {thats how i feel!}

the gift that keeps on giving has finally been passed to....ME!  emma has been sick for a week and just as she turns the corner, i am officially sick. like, sitting on the couch surrounded by tissues sick.  thank goodness for a day off.  i need it.

it's been a really REALLY rough month at work.  there have been a lot of things that in an of themselves may not have been back breaking but taken all together have taken a very big toll.  i don't want to take a whole post to complain...so i won't....but  it has become one of those months where the extraneous stressors at work finally take a toll on your body and I think that is in part to blame for me falling sick.  

one of my mentors (and my friend!) has an amazing blog where she shares her cooking expertise with the world. i'm so glad that she does because her recipes are amazing and her site is pretty darn gorgeous.  she's the real deal and recently went to a food blog conference.  in her latest post, she shares her experience at that conference but also answers the question "why do i blog?".   

i thought it was a compelling question and it got me thinking.  why do I blog?  for me, the answer is simple.  for me, this blog is therapy.  seriously.  i know that sounds wierd...but it's true. for me, this blog is an outlet....to share my thoughts, my feelings, the things i love in a tangible format.  this blog is a way to remember.....and a way my children can see a ME they may not know.  this blog is a relief from a job that pulls on the logistical data driven side of my brain. this blog is a creative outlet.  this blog is fun.  most importantly, this blog is ME.  i blog for selfish reasons....and the fact that anyone else would read is just a bonus.

i have lots of little things i want to share with you all {crafts, cool finds, some photography tips, yummy recipes, and of course pics of the beanie!}....i'll put my random thoughts together in a different post when my brain isn't bathing in sick.

hope everyone has a wonderful {healthy} day!!! :)

baby steps!

it's been quite an exhausting few days. between work and the bean being sick (boo!) i'm totally spent.  emma is on the mend but still not feeling quite herself.  i'm generally enthused about her daycare experience...i know that because of it she has become a total social butterfly and has developed at lightning speed....but i could really REALLY do without her constantly catching whatever flavor of the month bug it is that's going around.  this time it appears she has roseola as she's had high temperature which have now broken, runny nose/cough, and now a rash.  oy vey! i have to keep reminding myself that she's building quite the healthy immune system ;)

i'm working long long LONG hours these days which haven't afforded me much time for fun blog posts or much fun in general outside the hospital.  i'm struggling to find a better balance between work, mommyhood, being a good wife, and ME time.  i haven't been to the gym in months, my craft list is basically a mile long, and i have tons of recipes i'm dying to try.  in a few weeks things should lighten up and i'm hoping to correct my balance deficiency at least to some degree. a constant work in progress....

on friday night, ryan and i were treated to a fun surprise.  emma took her FIRST STEP!  it was wobbly and teetering but we were both there and witnessed it first hand. that meant alot to us both. she stopped dead in her tracks, looked up at us and started clapping...proof that she was just as proud as her daddy and me. it was the cutest thing ever. and then she promptly plopped to the ground.  it's a start!!!

to that end, i have to share this amazing little baby shoe. i'm holding back until emma really gets the hang of walking before i indulge but....oh my word.  after recovering completely from foot surgery, i'm splurging on shoes for ME and for beanie.  i haven't picked mine out yet but i've got about 5 pairs picked out for her!  take a look at the Joyfolie blog or sweet etsy shop for more.

today we headed back to the park with glammy and peepaw and took advantage of the gorgeous florida weather and some freedom from the hospital.  happy happy joy joy :)

hope everyone had a wonderful, joyful, restful weekend :)

snuggles and slides

recovering from a little stomach bug that left one of daddy's shirts a little worse for the wear, emma spent much of the day cuddled up in my lap.  she'd play for a bit and then crawl herself up into my lap and nestle on my shoulder.  can't say that i can think of a better way to spend my day off (although i'd rather she was feeling better, of course).  we nibbled on goldfish and sipped watered down gatorade.  and snuggled till we couldn't snuggle anymore.

glammy came by for a visit and we decided that miss emma claire needed a little break from being cooped up all day long.  we took a trip to the park and found that this was JUST what the doctor ordered!

she was absolutely fascinated by all the kids...most of them bigger than her....and this whole new world of "toys" to play with.  she took her first gander at the slide and i think the photo below speaks for itself.

spying on the "big kids".  someday emma, someday ;)

before long it was time to head home and get back to snuggling. the beanie is on the mend and will surely be taking many many more walks in the park ;)

pretty in pink

my oh my, friends! we had so much fun celebrating emma's birthday on saturday. you know that feeling when you have a party and you're so busy and overwhelmed throwing the thing that you just don't get to enjoy it?  this was the OPPOSITE of that.  she was giddy with excitement the whole time, we got to spend time with all of our family and friends, and there were cupcakes everywhere!! it was just so much fun for us all and i really wish the day could have lasted forever.  

this is pretty dorky....i'm totally THAT mom.  i found confetti at the party store that was in the shape of her name and had to buy it.  yea, i spent $7 on a teeny bag of emma confetti, so what?! growing up with a "different" name, i never got to have these sorts of things so i'm kind of bizarrely obsessed with personalized things.  i'm nearing 30 and i live vicariously through my one year old daughter....no shame ;)

i decided that decorating her high chair was a good idea suspecting that she'd likely destroy the decorations before the party started.  good thing she napped until 15 minutes before we got started.  the pretty pink princess throne survived way longer than originally anticipated. score!  and yes, that is a pink vinyl tablecloth on our floor serving as both decoration AND protection.

i mean, do i even need to say anything about this cupcake cake?? holy cuteness i'm in love.

speaking of cuteness, here's the beanie all dolled up in outfit number one. oh yes, there were multiple outfits. multiple PINK outfits. with ruffles. pretty funny to think that when i was pregnant i was pretty dead set on all things gender neutral.  my bestie elisa likes to point out that now our life really couldn't get much more PINK if we tried....hah!

emma got her own "smash cake" which she ate fistfuls of.  at first she wasn't quite sure. we got her in the high chair and everyone started to sing to her. she looked a little confused as the serenade first began.  we placed the cake in front of her and she carefully scooped icing with her little finger.

we helped her along a little and pretty soon we were in full swing. once she realized the opportunity in front of her it was no holding back! cue the cutest moment EVER when she started clapping after a huge handful of cake :) yea, i feel the same way when i eat cake beanie...we are totally related.

a few minutes later and she was totally in the zone. she was shoving handful after handful of cake in her mouth and ryan and i looked at each other with a look of understanding. we had to take the cake away or else she probably would have eaten the whole thing. no, seriously i'm not kidding. this child has a hollow leg.

a new outfit was in order after cake.  i ordered this tutu and tank from etsy and thought it was pretty hilarious that the UPS guy delivered the package in the middle of the party.  like right after cake. perfect timing in a way.  emma wasn't so sure about the tutu at first.....

...but aunt elisa assured her that all the coolest girls wear tutus! :)

my mom gave emma a very special gift.  a locket that HER grandmother gave to her when she turned one. it's beautiful and while emma can't quite appreciate it now, it's extremely special to me and will be to her some day in the future. thanks mama.

i'm pretty sure this child likes being the center of attention as she had no problem opening tons of presents in front of a room full of people.  her newest thing is saying "oh wow!" and we all heard it about a hundred times as she plowed through her gifts.  thank you everyone for spoiling her rotten.  all she's done since the party ended is sleep and play with her new toys so THANK YOU all. more than anything, thank you all for your love and support....it means more than any gift.

ever wonder what grown men do at a first birthday party?? seriously slacking on the pink boys.....

before we knew it the day was over and it was time to say goodbye.  emma had such a wonderful time and we did too.  its been a monumental year of changes in our house and this celebration was a reminder of just how far we've come :)  an hour after the door closed on the last guest....beanie crashed for a loooooong nap. i'm pretty sure she was dreaming of just how awesome her friends and family are.

emma claire murphy, just like i've sung to you every night since the night you were born, you are our sunshine.  you make us happy when skies are grey. you'll never know how much we love you.  your light shines from inside out and we just couldn't be more in love with you if we tried. here's to another year of wonderful :)

birthday sneak peek

this is what today looked like :)

pink and frills and ruffles and SMILES. all day smiles and giggles and squeals of delight. celebrating emma's birthday with her first official birthday party today was the. PERFECT DAY. from start to finish.  i'm far too exhausted to do the birthday blog post justice but i promise i will soon. for now, i'm ready to rest my head on a pillow and dream about the magical day we just had. here are a few sneak peek pics in the meantime. thanks to all our amazing friends and family for reminding us yet again how blessed and grateful we truly are. emma is one lucky one year old!!!! :)

happy first birthday, baby :)

i've been thinking about this post for weeks. weeks upon weeks.  up until now i've measured her life in months but as of today, i'll have to start measuring it in years.  i can't even believe how fast time flies.

i'm not even sure where to begin when it comes to expressing the feelings i have about our little one. year. old. there really is no way to describe it other than to say that i've never known such overwhelming love. becoming a mother, HER mother, has been the greatest blessing of my life and this has been the best year of my life without a doubt.  she makes every one of my days worth waking up for no matter what craziness is going on in the world around us.

{minutes old}

the day she was born, ryan and i rode hand in hand to the hospital.  we were silent the entire ride there....in a bit of shock and awe of the day before us.  i remember walking onto the labor and delivery ward so proud. I was going to have a baby that day, i was going to become a mommy.  our nurse was wonderful and with every ratcheting up of the pitocin, she gave me a grape popsicle which only partially offset the pain.  we had a few visitors as i labored but mostly the room was filled with me, ryan, and our anticipation.  before we knew it, it was time to push. i remember ryan and i meeting eyes....exchanging "seriously???" glances.  he grabbed my arm and off we went....ready for life to change forever and to meet our daughter for the first time.  i pushed 5 times.  5 times and suddenly....there she was. eyes wide open staring at ryan and i. all three of us started crying simultaneously....hers being the most beautiful cry of all.  the doctor helped ryan cut her cord and it was official.  we spent 45 beautiful minutes alone together as a family for the first time.  i will cherish those moments for all of my days.  

we have also cherished all 525,600 minutes of her first year of life. becoming parents has been the most remarkable gift and getting to know this beautiful child has been the BEST way to spend a year. there have been moments of all kinds....joy, fear, laughter, exhaustion, excitement, frustration, digust (poopy diapers, hello!), FUN!.....and pretty much everything in between. every first, and there were lots this year, has been cause for celebration.  the process of spoiling her rotten has long since begun thanks to her grandparents, uncles, and multitude of friends. we love how loved she is....and how she loves in return. if you've seen the arm flailing, toothy grins, and squeals.....she loves YOU! ;)

speaking of love, she has taught me more about love....and more about the woman i am and want to be....in one year than i could learn in a lifetime.  because of her my heart is more kind, full, and patient and i have a constant driving force to be better for myself, for our family, and for HER every day. i take alot of pride and put alot of pressure on myself being the mother to a little girl.  i know the trials and tribulations that little girls face growing up and while she doesn't have to deal with those things yet, i know one day she will and i hope to be strong and brave and everything she needs me to be. being a mom is the hardest job on earth. i never understood that before i became her mommy but now i certainly do.  it's the hardest job on earth but it's the most meaningful and gratifying job around....and i am blessed to call myself Emma's mommy.

{our big girl}

thank you baby girl for 525,600 minutes that we'll never forget....and for many more that we just can't wait for! we love you to the moon and back, and always always will. HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

{we'll be celebrating party style on saturday...can't wait to share pictures with you all!!!}