thankful.

there is much to be thankful for this year and i spent yesterday really focusing on the things that matter the most in my life.  the day flew by in a whirlwind of activity exacerbated by my total newborn + toddler induced exhaustion but it was so nice to spend the day in my home with my family.

i'm thankful for a husband who has been my best friend since 10th grade.  he's my mcgyver. a guy's guy who can fix anything. he's strong but sensitive {and stubborn!} and doesn't think twice about spending a day applying princess stickers to his face with his little girl.  he's a devoted father who puts his kids first and a loving husband who does his best to put up with me and my quirks ;)

i'm thankful for 2 healthy beautiful children who have totally and completely changed my life.  their happy hearts and bright smiles are what i live for.  i don't remember who i was before i was their mom....and i don't care. being their mom is my life's greatest blessing.

i'm thankful for a family who loves me.  and supports me....even in not so happy moments.  and is right around the corner.  we bicker and eyeroll at one another but i love them more than they know.

i'm thankful for a roof over our heads, food in our fridge, and clothes on our back.  most of all, i'm thankful for the love in this home.  the love that carries us through ups & downs & all arounds.  year after wonderful year :)

playing catch up...

random thoughts have popped into my head and funny or shareworthy events have happened in the murphylife but we've just been so caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily living that i haven't gotten around to blogging in a bit.  we've just been enjoying the small things...

emmatude: noun. the large and in charge ATTITUDE held by one certain almost two year old. i'm not sure "enjoying" is the right word. perhaps "experiencing" is better....or "trying to survive". ha! she's still our same little sweet pea about 75% of the time. but, catch her at the right time and it's like a mr. jekyll and mr. hyde type scenario. total screaming meltdowns over outfits in the mornings {outfits, mind you, that SHE picked out}, laying face down on the floor yelling "NO" at the top of her lungs, and my very least favorite ~ slapping. yea....that kind of stuff. we're learning how to best approach her in these moments and it ain't easy, let me tell you! we've just started time outs which i'm hoping will help.  it's really hard and upsetting and while i know it's totally age appropriate, that doesn't make it any easier.  that all being said, i understand where it comes from. imagine having all these new emotions and thoughts in your head and not being able to fully express them....i get it. its all frustration based and i try to keep that in mind when all hell is breaking loose at the hands of an angry emma ;)

22 months. when she's not busting out the aformentioned 'tude, she's literally astounding me every day with the little person she is becoming.  she is so talkative...and so independent. she told us last night right before bathtime "emma potty please" and promptly peed on her potty.  she'll announce when her diaper is dirty and ask for a change....so we're going to start the training process over the holidays. she loves to dance more than anything in the world....particularly the "chicken dance". you know, the horrible one they play at every wedding you've ever been to? we still spend evenings dancing around the house! other loves include making art on her easel, showers, reading in her princess tent, shoes, "baby ben", and anything that involves her going "outside".  she likes to give besos and hugs before bed....and enjoys trying to stall going "night night". last night, she kept asking to give kisses to everything in her room in an attempt to stay up....."turtle kiss?" {her nightlight is a turtle}, "map kiss?" and my personal favorite....."carpet kiss?". her smiles still light up a room and watching her with her little brother just melts my heart.  she's become a bit of a picky eater....really not a fan of vegetables other than green beans {although the girls at daycare have gotten her to like cooked carrots...yuck!}...so we are working on that.  and after weaning almost off the pacis, ben's arrival has her in a bit of a relapse...another thing we're working on ;)

mister b. ONE MONTH OLD!!! my my how time flies ;) he's just the sweetest most mellow little dude around.  i love that he's more alert everyday.  he's smiling these days which is so fun.  he still loves to be on his playmat and can almost roll from back to front...it's insane! he loves tummy time that much that he will roll from his back to his side and make attempts to go to the front.  he loves to snuggle which i LOVE and makes the sweetest little coos and grunts.  he's sleeping pretty well these days....he usually goes down around 9-10 and sleeps until 2-3 and then eats again at around 5:30-6.  room for improvement but pretty decent! he's still sleeping in the pack n play in our room but will make the transition to his crib in a few weeks.  love this little man.

here come the holidays. we are hosting thanksgiving at our place on thursday.  i'm a little overwhelmed with the responsibility....i have such amazing memories of holiday dinners and the warm inviting ambiance created at my parents house...so i feel like i have HUGE shoes to fill.  it won't be as nice as the holiday they create but everyone will be together under one roof and thats all that really matters in the end.  it's hard to believe that last thanksgiving emma wasn't even one year old and now we have two little turkeys to bring to the table.

i've totally fallen off the blogging bandwagon and i can actually feel it.  this blog is a little dose of stress relief (i.e. therapy!) for me so i'm hoping to make more time for this important little part of my week.  stay tuned...

downtime

this may be the first moment of silence i've had all weekend. as i sit here enjoying a glass of "mommy juice" as little miss calls it i'm in a little bit of disbelief that tomorrow is monday! our house is reasonably clean, emma is snuggled warm in her bed, and little ben is resting comfortably in his vibrating bouncy chair watching his daddy cook a late dinner.  i am sitting lazily here typing away in a much deserved break....the most taxing thing on my plate being juggling watching The Next Iron Chef while simultaneously blogging ;)

it's been a rough few days.  i'm starting to feel the heat of my new found role of mother to two.  my children are my world and i drop everything for them.  having enough time for all of my life's responsibilities is definitely a challenge....and i haven't even gone back to work yet! i'm finding it very very hard to have any time for myself or any time to relax....and i'm not talking glamourous things or long expanses of time....i'm talking simple things like an uninterrupted shower or 30 minutes to just run.  those are luxuries in the world of a mommy, i get it.  but, having a little me time now and again is important to sanity. and sanity is important for parenting....at least the kind of parenting i'm aspiring to ;)

my family and my husband, though, are helping me out and coming to my rescue. i went for my first postpartum run this weekend. it was slow and awkward but i didn't think about anything other than my feet hitting the pavement. i took an afternoon nap with emma on saturday and melted into the bed like it was a cloud....it was the most restful sleep i've gotten in i don't even know how long and while it was short it was oh so sweet.

these kids....i can't even describe what they do to me.  weekend mornings are my favorite time in the world these days....the four of us lounging lazily around the house.  emma prances around giving a constant commentary on the world according to her.  she is so talkative and vibrant and i love what a chatty little sweet pea she is. ben is filling out and becoming more responsive by the day. we've discovered that he LOVES to "exercise" (i.e. have his legs wiggled) on his playmat and will actually smile and make noises that sound decidedly like laughter! his little face lights up and i can see that personality starting to peek out.

sparkle on

some days just call for a little extra sparkle in your step. 

today was one of those days.

right, ben?

WORD.

hey there handsome

our little benjamin will be 3 weeks tomorrow!! he is such a little stud muffin. we are totally and completely in love with him. it's amazing to see him already changing and growing so much since bringing him home just a mere three weeks ago. i looked at some pictures this evening and was shocked.  i find that my perception of time has totally changed now that i have children. it goes by slowly yet at the same time at lightning speed.  3 weeks ago he was a little wrinkly peanut and now he's really starting to grow into himself and his new surroundings!

  we had our 2nd doctors appointment yesterday and the pediatrician's words were "he's perfect!".  well, i KNEW that....hah! ;)  little mr. has reflux which was causing him to get fussy after feeds.....he started medication yesterday and i can already tell a difference.  the reflux, however, is not so bad as to keep him from being interested in eating....he's already 9lb 4oz, just over a pound heavier than when he was born. {he was 8lb 7oz last monday which means he gained almost a pound in one week!}.  this little dude LOVES to eat {can't say that i blame him!}. he doesn't really warm up to it either....when he is hungry he will let you know!! his hands and feet are huge like a puppy's and you can tell he will be growing into them in the coming years ;) he loves snuggling {i'm being very sure to document this as i'm sure in a few years it will be "mom stop! you're SO embarassing"and lots of eyerolling} and a good swaddle although he's already getting pretty good at breaking out!  he's sleeping pretty well.  we had been getting up once a night to eat although he has recently added another nighttime feed into the mix....dare i say another growth spurt???  he still loves to spread out on his mat and actually really enjoys tummy time ~ so different than his sister who absolutely HATED being on her belly!  he's starting to fill out those little newborn wrinkles and i'd say we are well on our way to fat rolls....oh i just can't wait!!!!

we did the whole newborn thing less than two years ago yet i had forgotten all the great newborn faces and silly sounds. he still has that sweet newborn smell that i wish to god i could bottle up and never forget. his shoulders and back are still covered in soft downy hair.  i'm still undecided on what color the hair on his head is....in just the right light it has an auburn tinge....but i may be making that up ;) we'll see.  he literally is just as sweet as he can be and i don't know what we did to get so lucky.

benny-boo, i love you. thank you for making your entire family so very happy. i love spending my everyday with you and learning all about you. mommy is just smitten.

tonight was one of THOSE nights in the Murphy house.  one of those nights where everything unravels for no apparent reason. we don't have them very often, in fact i can count on one hand the number of THOSE nights we've ever had, but when they come around they come around with a vengeance.  i'm not sure what tipped it off tonight but little miss emma went on what i'd call "full psychotic breakdown" mode after we got home from school.  JUST when i'm feeling like i have this whole "mommy of two" thing down, a little humility gets sprinkled on top.  we tag teamed the situation and got emma where she needed to be ~ bed! i've been trying to be supermom, to handle it all and make it look easy....and this end to the day reminded me that this is an impossibility.  it's clear that my ever present search for "balance" is on the back burner for a while....maybe a long while. i may even need to revamp my definition of "balance" and be more realistic as to what that means now that life has changed so drastically.  

one of these days i'll see the inside of the gym again. i'll cook a good meal again. i'll catch up on emails, crafts, and photoediting. our house will be clean and the laundry will be done. my husband and i will go on a date....on a regular basis.  for now...i'll rest when i can and i need to learn to ask for help more readily.  i'm exhausted, look like hell, and don't even really know what day it is....but despite all of that i've never felt so blessed.  the balance will come....the blessings are already here :)

phone photo dump

i've been taking ALOT of phone photos lately....being on the run with two littles makes it hard to always whip out my canon.  the iPhone camera is actually pretty decent so i fall back on it alot to snap quick shots of whatever :) 

this weekend was UF homecoming which features a parade on Friday.  ryan came home early from work and we braved the crowd with two strollers (REALLY need a double!) to get front row seats for little miss emma to enjoy the festivities.  it had been a while since i've been to the parade so i wasn't quite sure what we were in for.  all that really mattered was that there were bubbles and music....emma was in heaven! and of course, lots of gator mascots running around left her screaming "ALLIGATOR!!!!" every couple of minutes....so cute :)  

pretty funny that she went in this thing all of about two times when she was a newborn....now that ben is here she's suddenly VERY interested in it ;)  we're going to have to break it down and move it out of the house to avoid a major meltdown in the very near future...ha!

 no words really necessary for this next one other than....this was NOT staged. she pulled these shoes out and subsequently went on a naked shopping spree around the house.

my sweet ben, i could look at his little face all day long :) i spend a fair amount of my time just studying every part of his tiny newborn body. totally amazing. i can't believe he is all ours.

ahhhh a fleeting moment of relaxation. thank you, honey. and yellowtail.

my little snuggly ben....who loves this new moby wrap i purchased.  emma was never really a fan of her sling so i gave it away.  ben LOVES skin-skin, swaddling, closeness....so i thought we'd give this a try.  he is a huge fan and so am i :)

lastly, the only "real camera" photo to share today.....emma sweetly pointed to "baby ben" this weekend and said "mommy.....emma hold it?".  melt my heart.