bathtime bonding

 nothing puts the finishing touches on a wonderful day like a nice warm bath. a BUBBLE bath. with your favorite bathtub squirt buddies.

and on this particularly special evening....daddy!!  ryan, all 6 foot 4 of him, can actually fit in our new tub....and after all these months of watching me get in the tub now and again with emma, decided HE wanted in on the fun.  so, he donned some shorts and jumped in for some soap suds and splashes with his favorite little lady ;)

made my night watching the two of them together. covered in bubbles. squealing with delight. {well, ok...emma did most of the squealing but the smile on ryan's face was too big to ignore} there is nothing like a daddy and his daughter ;) 

eventfully UNeventful

an eventfully UNeventful weekend just went down in the murphy house.  ryan and i are currently lounging in the bedroom watching some sunday night television {he mounted our flatscreen today!} and just MIGHT be eating ice cream in bed ;) the full fat kind. we'll only be able to blame that kind of behavior on this huge belly of mine for a few weeks longer so we're pretty content to maximize every last opportunity!

i'm feeling ok.  still having contractions but the normal braxton hicks kind mixed in with a few painful ones here and there.  NOthing like before.  no regularity.  nothing that stops me in my tracks.  my schedule has been reworked and swapped around with minimal damage and for that i am very very grateful.  despite that, i have a feeling deep down that ben is coming "early"....or at least not waiting until after his due date like his sister.  call it wishful thinking....but mama's got a hunch.  for now, he is comfortably wedged in my pelvis giving me one hell of a case of sciatica.  i spent a lot of time in the tub this weekend trying to numb the shooting aches and pains running through my hip and down my leg.  i'm getting the crap kicked out of me by a 35 week old fetus. ha!

not much excitement around here....and that's a good thing.  emma and i did some arts and crafts {did you know that cupcake sprinkles are fun to throw and stick to just about anything when wet? and that glitter spray paint is pretty much the most awesome thing EVER?} while daddy got work done around the house.  

we spent a large portion of mealtime making funny faces. and laughing. and getting food everywhere.  here is emma's "serious" face.  i'm still waiting to catch "fishy kisses" on camera ;)

this is what happens when i leave my phone in the bedroom while i make breakfast for my lovies.  a bit of foreshadowing for what is to come for mommy in the coming weeks? just sayin...

i love this guy. so much. so much MORE than i thought possible when we first fell in love at 16. and so much more than i even thought possible when i said i do or held our daughter in my arms for the first time.  he's my best friend, takes SUCH good care of me and our family, and has the biggest most patient heart.  and when your wife is enormously pregnant and needs help with EVERYthing and your 20 month daughter has caffeine and glitter running through her veins...patience is a very hot commodity. i love you, honey.

here's the view from the bed these days.  sooooo relaxing. {please ignore our completely empty closet. the closet system is being built....and then i will fill it. with lots and lots of clothes. ryan can't wait}

last but not least, emma and i made something super cute for her room this weekend.  i saw an adorable ribbon wreath on pinterest and knew i wanted to make one for emma's room.  after a trip to michaels {always an interesting endeavor with a toddler. and a quick lesson in the meaning of the word "fragile"} and 500 rolls of ribbon later....we got started!

mom, what the heck IS this?

it came out better than imagined and looks really cute hanging on her wall.  and it was super easy to do and really only took a few hours.

once all was said and done, little miss approved of the new funky wall decor!

as a side note, ben would like for me to say hi to everyone for him. i've learned that two kicks to the stomach and a punch in the side followed by a contraction means "mom...say HI for me!".  it's like baby morse code and i'm getting good at it ;)

doctors orders

well....here i am. 35 weeks pregnant, laying in bed, feet propped up, feeling simultaneously frustrated and relieved all in one. we saw the doctor today and he was adamant that my work schedule (7pm to 7am, 6 days a week....do that math!) was putting me at a significantly increased risk for preterm labor.  especially after friday's little incident. so, here i am. i spent the day sleeping off my overnight shift and this evening with my family.

it's hard to call in, believe it or not.  my inability to work nights means that someone that i work with has to do it in my place and for that i feel very very guilty.  i never wanted {or intended} for my decision to get pregnant to effect anyone else yet now that's exactly what's happened.  so i'm frustrated....and feel like, with the way my work schedule was constructed, i was sort of set up to fail.  how can someone as far along as i am, with a toddler at home, honestly be expected to work nearly 80 hours a week the month before they give birth?  i gave it a fighting shot, i'll say that.....and ben {and the doc} said heck no! sigh....

i'm also relieved.  i've been on edge since friday worried that something bad was about to happen. and by "bad" i mean an early appearance on the part of mr. murphy jr.  last night felt exactly like friday and i just couldn't relax my way out of it.  the doctor said that if ben was born now, he would be normal and healthy....but he wouldn't leave the hospital with us because he would need to stay in the NICU for a bit.  umm...hello!!! that is NOT happening, not if i have anything to say about it.  tonight, i was there for dinnertime, and bathtime, and bedtime too.  i spent precious moments with my little emma in what i see as a very critical time in her little life.  so much is changing for her right now....the house, her big girl room and transition to her big girl bed, potty training, and of course the upcoming arrival of her baby brother.  it literally felt like someone was stabbing me in the chest every day that i would be gone for 12 hours at work and would miss these moments of quality time that she needs me present for....now more than ever.  it's alot of adjustment for her and i need and want desperately to be here for her....not just emotionally but physically. and now i'll get to do just that.  i'll get to take care of BOTH of my kids and myself all at once.

so, tonight i'll catch up on some sleep and watch the season premier of glee with the hubs.  and probably eat ice cream and try and convince mr. murphy sr. to give me a foot massage.  i'm sneaky like that ;) hopefully this adjustment in my schedule will calm things down for me and benny a bit and we can finish this ride out together in the standard usual fashion!!

a little bit of this. a little bit of that.

what a hodge podge of a weekend it has been. we've done a little bit of everything in the past couple of days.  first of all....how did i manage to get the weekend off?? magic, i say! ;)  a good friend from work covered for me today {i should be at work right now as i'm technically starting my nighttime rotation today} because we booked maternity/family photos with my favorite of all favorite photographers ms. jenn hopkins.  and it's a good thing she did for another unforseen reason. don't get too excited...there's no mr. ben yet.  he's got a little more baking to do!

friday afternoon i came home early from work.  it had been quite the stressful day, much more so than most. i have been having braxton hicks contractions since i was probably 20 weeks pregnant but there was something different about friday. there was, dare i say, a regularity and a strength to the ones i was having that made me nervous.  long story short, i ended up home early and in the bathtub with the jets pounding steadily on my back and a candle lit in the corner.  ben and i had a heart to heart and i told him that while i know things are a little hectic right now, they are going to slow down very very soon.  he seemed content with that explanation and things quieted down.  i guzzled some water and took a nice afternoon nap.  i felt well enough to attend a birthday party that night and hang out {i.e. sit} with friends.

the next morning, we headed over to pick up emma from her mimi and pop's house. we spent the morning running errands and the afternoon starting to set up her new big girl room.  ben seemed content and while i didn't feel 100%, the contractions were less frequent and definitely not regular.  we were on the hunt for several things in particular...one of which was a large vanity mirror for the master bathroom. we didn't have any luck but got some laughs trying.....

i got a few bizarre looks at the store and here's why {i mean, aside from me photographing myself in the mirrors like a crazy lady}...

WOWZA!

we got emma's big girl bed all set up and got a good start to her room.  she was absolutely ECSTATIC over her new digs.  her bed is low enough to the ground that she can easily climb in and out on her own....and if she were to, god forbid, roll out, it's only like a foot to the ground so she wouldn't be in danger.  she went down with ease and slept without a peep until almost 9 this morning.  ryan and i must have been in her room like 5 times last night checking on her. i was half convinced she'd end up in the closet or nestled up with her stuffed animals but she stayed in her bed all night ;)  she was on top of the moon when she woke up....immediately started squealing and jumping on the bed. i'd say we have a winner ;)

after a homemade pancake breakfast, more room assembly was in store. emma showed her grandparents her new room and helped with the move proudly.  we ran a few more errands which resulted in the following photograph...

last but not least, we met up with ms. jenn and got some amazing and very special pictures of our growing family :) i cannot wait to see how they turned out....i was literally tearing up at the ones she showed me through her camera.  

i head back to work tomorrow and will see the doctor first thing the following morning.  i'm trying hard to hang with this insanity of a work schedule but he will make the final call on tuesday whether or not it's ok to keep working.  i'm close to the end as it pertains to both pregnancy AND my crazy hours.  but, at 34.5 weeks, its not quite safe for ben to come yet and it might be time to throw in the towel....or at least get switched to something a little less physically taxing.

we shall see.  i'm not sure which way things will go but i can say this....spending a full fledged weekend OFF with my family and getting to rest a bit did wonders for my body....but more importantly, my soul.  i'm so grateful that my friend was willing to cover for me so that i could enjoy a tiny break in this hellish month.  it's the little moments that i miss....dancing in the living room to saturday morning cartoons, family walks, chasing a wet naked giggly toddler through the house post-bathtime, nighttime chats & snuggles with my hubby...simple things. i give myself a hard time for the possibility that i may need to pull out of work early.....but at the end of the day it's that family that really matters and i'm not letting ANYthing get in the way of that.

random thoughts

in 6 weeks and 2 days....if not sooner {and i won't accept later as a possibility}...we will be a family of 4! pretty hard to imagine....although the reality is starting to slowly sink in. as i start to wash ben's growing wardrobe in scent free detergent and begin to grow weary of the ankle swelling and inability to eat more than 3 bites at any one sitting....it is starting to hit me that i am about to meet my son.  i'm trying to remember how i felt in the days just prior to emma's arrival ~ mostly i just remember wanting to hold her, see her, and breathe her in.  {i also remember feeling obscenely uncomfortable as she completely took over my small frame!}. i feel much the same about my little benjamin. i just can't wait to see him, hold him, and welcome into a home filled with love. 

work is grueling.  i confess that part of me takes immense pride in the fact that at nearly 34 weeks pregnant and with a very active toddler at home, i'm able to fight the good fight and hang with my coworkers who aren't lugging around an extra 28 pounds.  i'm exhausted and should probably be sitting at home with my feet propped up somewhere instead of working 72 hours a week....but i'm not.  not to worry....i'm drinking my water, wearing my compression stockings (sexy!), and carefully paying attention to the braxton hicks contractions that grow stronger by the day.  he is happy and healthy inside and is along for the ride.  ben has, while in utero, admitted hundreds of patients, put in 20 or so central lines, run several codes, and performed a slew of other doctor duties!  he's a renaissance baby ;)  my work life, in that way, is unconventional....and while i'm no superwoman....i know i'll look back at this and be a smidge proud of how hard i worked despite my ahem...physical limitations ;)  no offense to anyone out there as life is certainly NOT about comparison.....but don't tell me how tired you are because i'm pretty sure i've got you beat.

emma keeps me going and tires me out all at once ;)  i live for my fleeting moments at home this month where i just soak her in....and i keep longing for the start of october and a life completely dedicated to time with my family again.  she had us in stitches over the weekend with her new phrase..."oh my GOSH" which she says on repeat...it's hysterical. the intonation in her voice is so sassy and makes me think the words are coming from her inner 13 year old self.  sunday evening, after a very fun day off, we were doing our typical nighttime routine.....dinner, bath, milk + nighttime story, "brushy brushy" {emma's terminology for brushing her teeth} when she had a VERY big girl moment.  she was stark naked running around the bathroom in preparation for bathtime when she sat on her big girl potty and used it for the very first time!!!!!!!! she was SO proud of herself....her pride second only to ours as we clapped and cheered :)

i haven't had any time for the photo editing i love lately so all of these photos are straight from the camera.  they still make me happy :)

we sat on the front porch and blew bubbles....

emma said hello to every passerby....

....did a little explorative landscaping....

...and discovered the value of a good applesauce hair treatment :)

the home renovation is coming to a close!!  a few final things are coming together and voila!...we have a beautiful new calm space to call our own. and as of this weekend, emma will be moved into her BIG GIRL room.  pictures coming soon! as i type....ryan, heiko, and julie are slapping a beautiful coat of buttercream paint on emma's walls.  i helped too....until i got to the corner and my belly was touching one wall while my bum was touching the other....that's my cue to exit stage right ;)

hey, when you look like THIS....

...what do you expect??

lazy saturday

hope everyone is enjoying a lazy cuddly saturday! emma is enjoying a nice afternoon nap and her mommy is right behind her! :)

go gators!!

showered with love

i got a sliver of morning calm as i sat quietly in the living room before the other inhabitants of the murphy home wake up, sipping on my {strong} coffee and reflecting....pretty much the summation of a perfect morning in my book.  as evidenced by my lack of posting lately, i have been slammed at work.  the boiling point has been reached and thankfully my most recent rotation, while great for the purposes of learning, has come to an end.  i think it's fair to say i have senioritis.....that same sense of apathy i remember from the end of my high school days.  it's not the most noble of ways to view your work....but i'll confess that with my current state of being {er...8 months pregnant!}, i'm just trying to "get by" on the work front.  ha! i'm just trying to get by on the life front too ;) things have become a means to an end at this point....just get through this difficult schedule so i can make it to maternity leave.  which, as any mommy knows....isn't exactly a vacation....but MUCH preferred to my here and now.

i have another tough month ahead.  72 hour work weeks for the month of September.  i try not to say it out loud too much because it sort of makes me sick to my stomach.  to be fair, part of that is little ben pressing firmly and persistently on my insides....who knew that my iron stomach would finally succumb to a bit of pregnancy nausea, and this far along no less?!  but, i'll survive like i always do and my little man will be along for the ride.  thankfully the rotation ahead involves lots of computer based work and sitting so it shouldn't be too physically taxing.....good thing because i am pretty lacking in the grace and mobility department these days ;)

the end of pregnancy has hit me with a wealth of emotions that i haven't really had time to process.  i've always been an overanalyzer....at 29 i'm at least fully aware that this is a part of who i am and that conscious admission makes it easier to plod through my feelings sometimes....but i still do it.   i'm not nervous for ben's arrival or for the juggle of two kids....i know it will be difficult.  i know it will be hard in the same way you "know" having your first will be hard....more of a figment of your imagination because, let's be honest, how can you know until the moment is here and you really KNOW?!  i worry more about making sure my little emma is adjusted and realizes that a new kid on the block doesn't mean less love and attention for her.  i worry about how i'll perform in the wife and friend department....i don't see enough of my husband and girlfriends as is!  somehow, though, deep down....i know it will all be alright.

two of my dear girlfriends, chris and emily, whom i've had the absolute joy of getting to know by virtue of those long hours spent at the hospital {we are all residents together} threw a baby shower on my behalf today.  it was such a wonderful way to celebrate ben's upcoming arrival....and really helped to break up the horrible craziness that is my schedule lately.  they made me....and emma....feel so loved.  emma was my date for this girls only affair and everyone showered her with gifts as well.  she was so happy and playful and had an absolutely wonderful time.  she was especially enthralled with the puppy sitting atop the delicious cake chris had made.  she kept going back to the cake table anxiously awaiting cake time....not so much because she wanted a sweet treat....but because she wanted that puppy!  i have to say that amidst all the wonderful gifts we received....the most meaningful of all to me was the chance to spend time with the amazing women in my life and with my favorite little girl.  those relationships push me....the motivate me....and they carry me through the times when i think i may just collapse with sheer exhaustion (now!).  thank you, wonderful women.....

we didn't take nearly enough photos but thank you elisa and emily for the ones you captured ;) and i'm sad we didn't get one of me with the fabulous party planners....but i hope you know how much i love you both and how AMAZING i think you both are!!!