rumor has it...

my sweet little lady...

"today was a good day". that's what you said to me as i kissed your head and tucked you in to sleep tonight. indeed it was, little one.  between bagels and yoga and planting your first garden....you're right...it was the perfect kind of day.  

before you turned two, people warned your daddy and i about how fiercely you would try and exert your independence in the coming months. they warned us how simple things would become a struggle and that "no" would be your favorite word.  they warned us that if we tried to put up resistance, it would only make things more difficult. it's hard work become who you are....especially when you are becoming someone as special and beautiful as you.

i didn't understand what they meant until now.  you are strong. you are opinionated. and you think you are ready to take on the world. you are learning that being independent isn't always comfortable. you are brave and mischievous and love to entertain.  you are persistent and sneaky and smart as a whip.  you are beautiful, little one. inside and out.

you can also be difficult and moody and often defy all attempts at logic.  rumor has it, this is just a phase.  but even in your toughest moments, i have to smile because this little blip....this little rough spot...is you becoming YOU!  and i love love love the little person i see.  

i love you, sugarplum. always have, always will.

mommybabe

just a few things...

a whole host of little things i'm loving these days...

...emma is full of hysterical commentary. we call her twitter because she's got her own constant feed going.  i'm starting a little book of funny things she says to pass on some day.  my current favorites :: "santa clause watching me make bad choices" (as she runs out the back door) and "look at this, mommy! emma has a baby, mommy!" (as she stuffs her shirt with ben's bib)

...the way little b stares into your eyes and gently grabs your face while he coos and shares important thoughts.  he is such a little flirt i can't stand it.  i just want to eat him up.  speaking of eating, little mister is chowing down these days (what's new)....favorite food of the week....and apple/carrot/parsnip medley.  he's almost sitting up on his own and is about to cut his first tooth. seriously why is time flying so fast??  

...that honey and i are actually going on a date....a REAL date tonight!  andy bear and janie are watching the kiddos and gonna hit the town. and by hit the town i mean have an early dinner and probably pass out by 10.  but i can't wait to sit on the same side of the booth, hold hands, and talk about stuff other than dirty diapers and feeding schedules.  it's amazing how in all it's beauty and fun, having kids really does test your relationship.  and not in a scary bad way, although it IS tough....but it reminds you how to work together, how to troubleshoot, and how to fall in love all over again.  seriously is it date time yet?

...i ran my first 5k with janie last weekend and even though i had an anaphylactic reaction to all the circulating pollen afterward, it was awesome.  training for that half has gone slow this week thanks to work....but i can't wait to get out there this weekend.

...that emma's little tummy is getting better! she came home from school with the craziest rash the other day.  seems like she had an allergic reaction to something. thanks to benadryl and topical steroids it's getting much better. and thankfully it's not bothering her.  

...that i've finally learned that studying in bed is impossible.  ryan was nice enough to catch me in hardcore sleep-study action. thanks honey. its the doctor mommy syndrome... ;)

...that it's FRIDAY! 

a quick pit stop

just a quick pit stop on the way to some studying (for my internal medicine boards in august).  i have so many funny little stories to tell about the craziness going on at our house these days....toddlers really DO say the funniest things ;)  but....since i REALLY have to get some studying in tonight and can really only afford just a smidge of procrastination (dangit!) i figured i'd at least pop in and say hello.  both kiddos are sleeping soundly in their beds...ryan is working on some continuing education for his LEED certification and i'm....well...i'm perched dangerously in bed with my computer on my lap.  things aren't looking good so far as studying is concerned. ah well.

these pictures were taken in my hell month, february.  this was actually the morning as i was leaving for my last overnight 30 hour shift in the ICU....EVER.  a joyous occasion indeed.

it's really a shame neither of my kids look like their dad.  {and by that i mean, i swear i actually am their mom....jeez! they are both mirror images of ryan!}.  and it's funny to me that these are probably the ONLY pictures i have of ben not smiling.  he's not really a morning person and would prefer to sleep in....FINE by me ;)  emma's gotten pretty fond of having her pictures taken these days....dare i say i have created a sassy little monster? at her school photos the other day, she was practically yelling at the poor photographer "take my picture more!"

dear lord help us all.

full and happy

well, february, you officially kicked me in the behind.  what a rough 4 weeks you threw my way.  our entire family rallied to get us through this last one and i am so very very happy to have it done.  it's so hard to believe that this journey is almost done....these three years of training are almost behind me. behind us.  gone forever are 30+ hour shifts that leave me so tired i can't see straight.  soon i'll say goodbye to weekends worked and missed moments.  i can't possibly explain what all of this means to me and to my little family.

i'm filled with such appreciation for all of life's little mundane moments. now even more than ever.  i never thought i'd want to change a poopy diaper so badly or clean up emma's room for the 15th time in a day.  laundry. dishes. whatever. it just feels so good to get back to my REAL life.

i'm taking it slow tomorrow morning.  breakfast with my hubby and kiddos. followed by a daycare dropoff ~ i'm sure the girls at school think i don't even exist anymore. were it not for midday visits, they might think i had disappeared!  then it's time to start training. for what, you say? crazy me decided that i want to run a half marathon.  this coming from someone who is notoriously BAD at running.  i want to prove to my 30 year old self that i can do it.  so i've been researching training plans and have my eyes set on a Disney Half Marathon in November.  i'm trying to coerce my girlfriends into joining me so we can all suffer (and triumph!) together.   i'm excited. maybe its just my way of breaking free of the past month of my life....so confining and claustrophobic.  whatever the case may be....i couldn't be more thrilled or feel more free than i do right now.

some everyday moments :: 

that little chin. gets me everytime.

steel blue.

button nose.

clearly she's obsessed.

love the way his little toes collect lint. 

bad lighting. awesome self portrait :)

"i read to baby ben!". you can't tell from this angle but she grabbed his hand and is holding it as she reads. mommy heart melting.

and with that....i leave you to go snuggle with my hubby and relish the fact that the crazy days are over. he surprised me with a delicious healthy dinner tonight and my belly is very full and very happy. just like my heart.

xo, m