we survived!

we officially survived our first week as parents of two. two UNDER two ;)  it has honestly been an absolute JOY.  tiring and quite the juggle but an absolute blessing and a joy.  ryan is the most amazing husband and father....and he handles sleep deprivation WAY better than me so he helps me keep my sanity when i'm starting to fray at the ends a bit.  thank you, honey!  with emma, everything was so brand new which only served to make it more exhausting of an experience. with ben, while he is certainly his own little person, we have at least some frame of reference which helps make it more manageable.  he's a great little kiddo and we are loving getting to know him.  what i can tell you so far: he LOVES to be held and swaddled.  he eats like crazy....i call him my little shark....you know the way hungry sharks grab onto food and shake their heads.....yea, thats ben.  at our first newborn appointment, 5 days after he was born, he was already almost back to birthweight. he's gotten his days and nights figured out and we're already on a pretty good nighttime feeding schedule which makes life so much more manageable.  he didn't mind his first bath too much but he is not a fan of being naked or diaper changes. he usually has a very serious look on his face and seems to be intently studying the world around him during his awake times.  maybe he'll be my wise old soul and emma will be my spunky lighthearted burst of energy ;)

emma continues to do awesome with her new role as big sister.  she's very concerned about ben's "baby bellybutton" and making sure that he doesn't get all the blankets in the house ;)  she wakes up in the morning asking for "baby ben" and when he cries she tells me "baby sad".  she's just so sweet with him and makes me wonder why i ever worried that the transition would be difficult. as usual, it was just me worrying.  it is amazing how your heart is capable of loving so much and i can't tell you how good it feels.  there's nothing that even comes close.

with the weather being so nice, we've spent a few nights on the back porch.  emma plays with her easel and gets as dirty as humanly possible....it's the perfect way to end the day.  ben is along for the ride and listens to the birds chirping and his sisters squeals.  bathtime is inevitably next....and emma requires multiple rinse downs after a good painting session.  we've started quite the collection of emma murphy originals!

we added another addition to the murphy family this week.  a new car!  if you know us, you know we like to pack it all in at once.  a new baby and a new car in one week....why not!  i graduated to full soccer mom-hood as we bought a toyota highlander.....perfect for baby toting and adventure having.  it was sad to see the volvo go but this thing makes things so much easier.  we got a great deal on it....and i'm convinced that the guys at the dealership were just creeped out by the fact that i breastfed in the back of the volvo while we were there....they just wanted us gone! ha! whatever works ;)

oh my mr ben. i love you more than you'll ever know. while i didn't think it possible, my heart is even MORE full now that you are here. i love the way your sister loves you and how you've completed our family.  it all just makes sense now ;)

and then there were four.

our little ben is here and we are settling into life as a family of four! i'm still in that postpartum fog where i can't really formulate anything meaningful to say {thank you hormones!} but i definitely want to capture a few snippets of the last few days and of course....lots of pictures since they really tell the story anyway.

first, as for something that was NOT documented by pictures {thankfully!}, labor was....in a word....horrendous.  with emma, it was such smooth sailing and the epidural worked so well that i truly had no concept as to what "labor" really felt like.  well, that all changed this time around.  i'm not going to get into all the details but suffice it to say, the epidural did NOT work.  and they gave it to me 4 different times.  so i had pitocin {and lots of it} and thats about it....by the time ben arrived, my entire right leg was numb which would have been great had i been pushing him out of my right foot.  there was screaming. it was not pretty. and i might be a little bit traumatized.  my body is pretty bruised and battered but at the end of the day....he's here. he's healthy. and i am complete.

emma has been SO good with this transition.  despite the fact that our first full day home, we took her to the doctor because she has been battling a cough {the same one everyone else we know has had!} for literally 3 weeks. we had been in and out of the office trying to speed up her recovery process especially with ben on the way but, each time, had been sent away for "watchful waiting".  this time, we said no more.....poor thing has suffered enough.  the doctor was great and agreed that it was time. so, she's finally being treated for bronchitis and conjunctivitis. ugh!

that all being said, she's been so loving and interested.  we are still learning what is ours and what is "baby brother ben's" {what she calls him!} but i think that is entirely fair. she loves touching his feet and is very interested in his "baby hair".  today we were out and about and been started fussing.  emma, in her sweet tender little voice said "it's ok baby ben". melt my heart.

ben is just as sweet as he can be.  he is a BIG eater and loves to be held. he is the biggest fan of a swaddle i ever did meet and i just love him to pieces.  his little newborn noises make me swoon! he's only 4 days old but he graced us with 5 1/2 hours of straight sleep last night {we'll see if he can make it 2 nights in a row. ha!} and seems to have a great temperament. i just can't wait to keep getting to know him :)

so without further ado....pictures. rather than me babble on, i'll share some photos of our last couple of days.

the hospital:

the only photo of me in labor. i was happy here with my grape popsicle :)

 

watching intently while the doctor examines baby ben

BEST BIG SISTER :)

headed home!!!!

finally home: 

morning snuggles

emma literally climbed into ben's bouncy chair, covered herself with a blanket {his, of course} and went to sleep!

we bought emma an easel as a "present from baby ben".  she is obsessed with this thing. it has options for painting, coloring, chalk drawing, and a whiteboard.  she loves art and particularly coloring....and pretty much anything that can make a mess....so we thought she'd like this.  AND we were right ;)

and i'll leave you with a few of my sweet boy....you are only a few days old mr. ben but boy do we sure love you ;) 

that yawn is precious....and i can relate to it too ;) here's hoping for another good night!!  we are doing great and so appreciate all the well wishes and thoughtful messages.  we are sleep deprived and a little frazzled as we learn that 1 + 1 does not always equal 2 ;) but the realization that this is such an amazing time in our lives is hard to ignore....i feel complete in every sense of the word.

a birth day

benjamin ryan murphy

8 pounds 4 oz

21 inches

welcomed with love at 1:52 on October 20th, 2011

proud parents ryan & martina and big sister emma claire

three.

3 years ago today, i married my best friend. the love of my life. my mr. right.  i think about that day alot. and smile really hard :)

marriage is not at all, in my opinion, what you think it will be. it's infinitely better.  harder too. we've had our fair share of rough patches and i'm sure we'll face more down the road.  through those rough patches, we have become stronger and more whole in a way i don't think i was capable of conceptualizing when we said "i do".  every day, i wake up next to a man who makes me feel perfect in my imperfection. he makes me feel brave enough to conquer the battles that the world throws my way. he makes me hopeful for the future and fills me with a sense of peace i know i would not feel without him by my side.  he wipes my tears and celebrates my triumphs.  he listens to me, makes me laugh, and puts up with me when i know no one should! he makes me feel beautiful and special and helps me remember what life is all about :)

so....to my amazingly wonderful husband.....i love you more than words are fit to describe.  ours is an amazing love story with the happiest of ever afters.  if i had to choose again, it would still be {and will always be} YOU.

the final countdown

we have entered the final countown!  with any luck {ahem, ben. body. i'm talking to you!} we'll be having a baby this thursday via induction.  that is, of course, if he {hint hint, benjamin} doesn't come before on his own.  if he's anything like his sister.....and his dad...OK fine, and his mom too....he's stubborn.  so, i'm sort of mentally prepared for thursday at the earliest. and i'm sort of at a loss for words.

this weekend we soaked up what was probably our last weekend as parents of one. and emma's last weekend as an only child.  i am filled with a wealth of emotions that i can't even begin to describe....so i won't even try.  we had an impromptu garage sale, we had brunch with friends....to which emma inSISted on wearing her bike helmet, got pedicures with grandma, and took bike rides which left emma squealing "more! more! more!".  it's hard to imagine what we'll be doing NEXT weekend! ;)

pedicure time!!

little ben, i cannot wait to hold you in my arms and kiss your sweet face. i can't wait for you to meet the strong, caring, and selfless man you will grow to call daddy. i can't wait for you to meet the sparkle of light and joy you will know as your sister.  and while now i'll have to share you with everyone else...i can't wait to love you to pieces.

and my sweet emma, i love you more than life itself. there are big changes ahead and i know you are going to be the best big sister in the world.  you are so beautiful inside and out and you make daddy and me happier and more proud than you could ever know.  you are the magical little soul who first taught me about a mothers love and i will always ALWAYS be here for you.  through the smiles, the laughs, the tears, the tantrums, and beyond. no matter what. mommy loves you to the moon and back....and always will.

1 day old

6 months

1 year

18 months

this weekend, my garage sale helper :) 21 months.

.....here's to next time, when it will be time for some new introductions ;)...

reflections...

as ben's arrival gets closer and closer {any day!}, ryan and i spend a lot of time reflecting on what we were doing this time 21 months ago.  pregnant with our little emma, we had been bombarded with the typical advice that all new parents receive.  we had dutifully read all our baby books, had purchased all the "necessary" baby gear, and were convinced that we were "ready" and that we "knew" what was coming.  remembering the way our eyes welled with tears the first time we heard her heartbeat on the doppler or saw her black and white outline wiggling happily on the ultrasound screen....we thought we already had an understanding of our love for her.

and then she was born.

she was born and life changed in ways there are no ways to prepare for or explain. the love we felt before she arrived was replaced with the most overwhelming, all consuming love we could ever know. one that i can't ever describe but that has changed who we are as people, as a couple, and as a family.  a love that has made every moment of our life more meaningful and exciting. a love that has taught us about compassion. sacrifice. exhaustion. and fun.

a love that has kept us up at night listening to make sure she was breathing. that made us sick with nerves over her first fever, first doctors visit, first tantrum.  a love that knows no limits or bounds.  it's the most beautiful love in the world.

there are many things about being parents for the second time that are a dial down on the worry notch.  having gone through it once before makes it seem more doable and less full of surprises around every single corner.  but the love and excitement remains.  the wonder over how this new step and this new person will change us and our family remains. and the anticipation and eagerness to meet this little life and start a new journey remains.  

here's to the love that only a new life can bring :)

{photos shot by Jenn Hopkins of jennhopkinsphotography.com}