birthday festivities

while her birthday was last week, we had emma's official birthday party last night.  she was showered with love from start to finish, ate lots of yummy food {including SUGARY sweet pink treats}, and even got her very first princess dress and her first pair of sparkly princess slippers.  a birthday fit quite perfectly for her :)  we kept it small and intimate this year and i really liked it that way. i put down my camera for most of the night and just took it all in. i still can't believe i have a two year old!

ben soaked it all up and enjoyed being passed from family member to family member.....he got quite the load of snuggles last night and i know he loved every last minute.   yesterday marked 3 months and i fall more and more in love with him every single day. between his flirtatious grins and soft coos, he's got me smitten.  there really IS something about a mother and her son...

i had been running around all day furiously trying to get everything done....funny how my "days off" from work are mysteriously filled with some kind of excitement!  funny how ALL my moments are now filled with some kind of excitement ;)  i had intended on getting a lot done. i look back to my life pre-kids and wonder in sort of a disgusted amazement....what the HECK did i do with all that free time?? life now forces me to be infinitely more efficient and much more flexible.  oh...that cake you baked didn't come out exactly as planned....too bad 'cause you don't have time to fix it. wanted to fit ALL 5 errands in this morning....oh well, moving on!  in a way, having kids has proved to be therapy of sorts because it constantly forces me to evaluate how truly, seriously, honestly important something is.  sometimes though....dang it if i don't just want to have my cake and eat it to! ha!  my point here is that i had a list way too long to get done in a day...but fancying myself superwoman...i tried....and then got frustrated when i didn't have time to get everything together that i had planned.  it sounds so stupid as i type it out...but i wanted emma and ben to be able to look back at this day and be proud of what i had put together. to know that each one of these milestones in their lives, and even more so the simple everyday moments in between, are what my life is all about. that i love them more than words are fit to describe....and somehow think that the perfectly executed shin dig will help get the depth of my emotion across.  it sounds foolish, i know. even more foolish is how, deep down, i want so badly to be able to "have it all together".  to be that girl, that renaissance woman, who can be a loving mom, doting wife, fabulous friend, skilled doctor, domestic diva, fashion forward, physically fit wonder woman....in a ridiculously impossible nutshell.

BUT. then i see a little girl with a brightly lit smile, a little dude with an ear to ear grin, & my amazing husband {the one who keeps me together} with wide open arms....and i check myself.  who cares, martina....who really cares about all those silly little things that really aren't important? who needs you to be wonder woman? not them, i remind myself. and not me.

so....without further ado....birthday party pictures. i can't believe that one year ago, little emma wasn't even walking yet and little ben was just a figment of our imaginations.  and here we are :)

off to a great start

happy monday! :) the weekend was filled with "big girl panties" and frequent trips to the potty as "danpa" and ryan took a stab at an intensive potty training session with little miss emma.  i worked all day sunday so i missed most of the fun but got to catch up with everyone later in the evening where i got to get in on some of the fun. first of all, i never knew elmo panties could be so cute. i'm pretty sure emma is the only girl in the murphy house who can pull them off but dang it if they aren't the cutest things around!  

we met with our pediatrician this week for emma's 2 year well child check and got a wonderful SHOT FREE clean bill of health.  i worked all day on her actual birthday so the following day was an emma-mommy day.  we don't get alot of alone time together and it was a very sweet way to spend the day.  we started off at the doctor.....and learned that emma is a very big girl in more ways than one! she's always been in the 95th percentile for both height and weight. well, now....she's still on that same curve for weight but is officially OFF the pediatric growth charts for height!  she's a precocious little thing and is functioning, developmentally speaking, at the 2 1/2 - 3 year old level according to the doctor.  boy do we have our work cut out for us come adolescenthood ;) 

 she's speaking in full 5-6 word sentences and is very interested in reading books of all kinds, doing puzzles, coloring, and trying to figure out how things work.  she's got her favorite books and asks for certain pages in each one.  for example...in one of her books, there is a little boy with a scraped knee.  she always asks to "kiss little boy boo boo" and quickly finds the page and plants one on him.  speaking of, the teachers at school keep telling me she has a "boyfriend".  one of her favorite friends, sebastian, who they all call "sebas" is a frequent topic of emma conversation....and is the little boy she happened to kiss the other day.  ay yay yay. 

i love watching her grow and learn.

little benjamin is just as sweet as he can be.  he tolerates being a part of our crazy family so well and is just the most mellow FLIRTACIOUS little thing you'll ever meet.  he has an amazing attention span and will sit on my lap and "talk" with me for 20 minutes at a time.  he smiles so hard i swear his cheeks will fall off and makes it really super hard to put him down. like ever.

emma waffles between getting a little jealous of the attention sharing and being really nurturing and loving with him.  i picked her up from school a few days back after getting ben in his carseat/stroller.  all of the toddlers were interested and trying to look into ben's carseat.....but were stopped by his menacing big sister who kept yelling "NO TOUCH emma's baby ben!!!".  i just about died laughing. you tell em, big sister :)

oh mr. b. have i mentioned how much i love you? you are truly a wonder baby. i cannot believe you'll be 3 months old this week!

life seems to be flying by at lightning speed. every day is a mix of getting through to the next but also trying to grasp onto these magical and fleeting moments at the same time.  we've sort of settled into some semblance of organized chaos that seems to be working for the time being. our weekly routine with the kids is established and we're in a groove. just in times for things to get shaken up, i'm sure....so it always goes with little ones.  i am very much counting down the days & minutes until i move onto fellowship and have my weekends back for the first time in years. i've always said that i don't mind the hours i work during the week if i could just have my weekends off....and finally that dream will be a reality!

the future is looking better and better. but never better than the right now :)

5 reasons why i'm awesome by Ben

1. i mean, the picture says it all. the ladies, they really love me. someday mom won't think this is cool. for now....i'm gonna keep gettin' my flirt on.

2. i'm a total dude baby. i'm only 12 weeks old but i've already got this whole burping and farting thing down. on more than one occasion i've made folks ask "was that BEN??". i make my dad proud.

3. i like fresh air. and by fresh air i mean any opportunity to hose things down. kapeesh? pee pee tee pee, you ain't got nothin' on me. 

4. crying is for babies. OTHER babies. sure, i know how to let my folks know that it's time to grub or that i really REALLY don't approve of this whole bumbo situation yet.  but the way i see it, all this smiling, giggling, and cooing gets me the kind of attention i really like. see #1.

5.  i put up with a ridiculous amount of kisses from my big sister. i mean, seriously?? this girl just can't get enough.....figures.

two.

my sweet emma claire,

today you are two. 

two years ago, i saw your sweet face for the first time and i knew that my life would never ever be the same. there are no words for the way it felt to hold you in the arms. instantly, i knew my purpose. you. i became a mommy, YOUR mommy, in that moment and it was the most beautiful moment of my life. your first year of life was full of....well, firsts....and your 2nd year has been no different. you are truly becoming your own little person and it is such a joy to get to watch and experience you come into your own.  for a little lady, you have one BIG personality....and this is one of my favorite things about you.  you own the room when you walk in & it makes mommy smile from the inside out.

you are, as your granny says, an explorer of the world. you take it head on and are very curious about it all.  you love to learn and create and you are just so talkative! you are quite the perfect little mix of sweet sugar and spice.  for all of your strength, you are also so incredibly gentle and sweet with hugs and kisses galore. i can't tell you how happy that makes me. you are strong willed and determined and i know that this, along with your beautiful heart, will get you very far in life.  speaking of beautiful, mommy likes to take your picture alot.  deep down, i think a part of me thinks that if i take just enough, i can freeze time so that you'll always be just exactly as you are :)

you are a magical little soul, my dear. as i tucked you in tonight you hugged me tight and said, "i wuv you mommy". i love YOU, sweet girl. i love you beyond measure and always will. always remember that. mommy loves you oh so very much.

“'Sometimes,' said Pooh, 'the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.” 
― A.A. Milne

age 2....

age 1....

the cake face....yep....she's still got it!

a WEEK worth celebrating

i'm a firm believer in birthday WEEKS.  i've always loved birthdays and i always will....i can't exactly explain why except to say that i think that they are a perfect excuse to celebrate each other and ourselves.  now that emma and ben are here, i feel this sentiment even more strongly and fully intend to celebrate every day of this week....marking emma's 2nd year of life!  i don't even know where the time has gone. i feel like it was literally yesterday we brought her home from the hospital....and somehow i blinked and here we are, two years later.  a lot has happened since then. lots of learning, lots of smiles & tears alike, lots of sleepless nights and dirty diapers. lots of laughs, lots of PINK, lots of boo boos & runny noses, lots of hugs.  but very most of all....lots and lots of love.  

her actual birthday is tomorrow, but we'll be celebrating all week :) and beyond!

i headed back to work full time last week as ben started daycare. i am, as always, a work in progress.  it's a hard juggle to, as i've said before, balance all the spinning plates of my life.  sometimes i feel like i'm failing at everything....it's hard to be a good doctor, a good friend, a good mommy, a good wife, and good to myself all at once.  but, i'm giving it my best shot and getting by. i'm also studying for my Medicine Boards which i'll take in august so that adds even more to my chronically overburdened to do list.  all i can do is laugh ;)  i'll get it all done and taken care of....with a smile on my face....because there just is no other way.  my life is hectic and crazy but it's filled with happiness, health, and love and there is absolutely nothing i can complain about.

i came home today after a little birthday shopping to find a special treat in my mailbox. some new year blessings from one of our favorite families....the gonzalez rothi's. emma loves her some aunt ellie and uncle nick and i can't say enough about how much this family means to me.  the note made my day....so much so that i have to share it here...

On Bracing For Impact

may the sun shine on you

may you make lemons out of lemonade

may you crush your insecurities with hope

may you drink wine and taste the glory

may you pray for those less fortunate than you

may you still take care of the environment even if you don't believe in global warming

may you stop counting others' faults and start praising them for the moments during which they shine

may you help those who need without asking why they need or if they really need

may you take care of yourselves

may you try to be the person that your dog thinks you are

may you try to be the kind of person your god knows you are

may you accept that you can live with less than you have and still be happy

may you ensure you never overdraw your sleep savings account

may you remember that your children will never read your curriculum vitae

finally, may you remember to always laugh in the face of adversity

have a wonderful holiday season, remember to remember us as we remember you, and may you SHINE in the new year.

amen!

new beginnings

clean slates. fresh starts. happy new year!!!!!

2011 was so good to us and i'm so excited for what 2012 will bring.  we are infinitely MORE busy than ever these days and exhausted too! but, we're getting the hang of this whole 2 under 2 thing if i do say so myself!  every day is an adventure :)

our little man started daycare today.  he is in the same room that emma was in at his age and it brings back so many memories. dropping him off today was so hard.  i've spent almost all day every day with him since he was born so passing him over to his new teachers {who i really like} was difficult.  his big sister was so excited and so proud to bring him to school....she's was chanting "bring baby ben to school!" all the way to daycare.  she came with us as we prepped his crib and got him all settled.  looking at her play in the room as i got ready to leave and clung tightly onto little ben reminded me that she did so well here. she met new friends and learned new skills and somehow that made me feel more comfortable leaving him.  he jumped right into the fun and was squealing in delight under an entertainment mat as we gave kisses and then left to drop emma off in her class.

i visited at lunch and got a huge smile upon my arrival.  that made the day and was just enough encouragement to get me through the rest of my workday.  still, i miss him like crazy and it doesn't get easier just because we've done it with emma.

ben's teachers told us at the end of the day that he was "JOYful".  if that's not a great start, to a new daycare and a new year, i don't know what is.