get far by sitting still

i tend to jump into things. i'm struck with an idea, a motivation....and i dive headfirst. like many, i really enjoy crossing things off my to do list. it's easy for me to let something become all consuming.  my journey to a half marathon was no different. i conjured up this idea in my head one day and immediately spent a good hour furiously researching training programs, upcoming races, the best running gear.  since that time it's been full speed ahead....and to be completely honest, my training so far has changed me. running ~ something that i've never been particularly good at ~ has become like therapy for me. addictive therapy...that's healthy right? ;) my body is changing but more importantly and more inspiring is the way that running is impacting what's on the inside.  depending on the day its anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour and a half of meditation on foot. i put everything else aside and i go....one foot in front of the other. the wind hits my face (and in the case of a few weeks back, the rain drenches my body!) and there isn't anything rattling around in this brain of mine. it's quiet upstairs....and this is good.


i've learned more about the lengths to which i can push myself physically in the past few weeks than i have in a long time. after all, after 2 kids my body moves and works in a different kind of way. not good or bad, just different. i'm learning to respect it in a way i never have before. i've learned that while it's good to push....there is also a place for rest.  last week my body was feeling the effects of an intense training schedule and i decided after a suggestion from a friend to take the entire week off.  it felt wierd but when i came back to it after a week away....i ran my personal best run.  like....ever.  6 miles. how crazy is that?

funny to think that sometimes, the way to get the farthest is to just sit still.

i notice the benefit of taking a break in other areas of my life.  i've been studying my tail off for my medicine boards in august and just hit a wall last week.  one of my good friends said the most obvious yet elusive thing...."why don't you just take a week off?". and i did. and it's been awesome.  i'll open the books again tomorrow and see if i can start working on another personal best ;)
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i've noticed that my re-entrance to the facebook world has taken me away from the blog and i don't like this.  i post pictures there rather than here and i don't make time for the words i so love to share.  while i do think its a fun avenue if nothing else to keep up with folks you don't see everyday....i'm contemplating shutting my account down again in an effort to simplify and focus my attention elsewhere.  i'm a self admitted facebook junkie and i think it might be time for a break up.

while we weren't looking, this little handsome man turned 6 months old. half a year already. you never get used to the way time flies as a parent and this is no different. i say this all the time but he is just the most phenomenal little guy.  such a sweet temperament with a big heart with love for snuggles.  he's a great sleeper and a great eater and watching his little personality shine through more and more each day is such a blessing in our murphy life.  he loves his bouncer more than life itself and will fill the house with squeals and shouts of glee while he's in it.  like any little boy, he loves to grab toys and bang them together. we are in major teething mode around here....no pearly whites yet....but they sure are coming! ben's first easter basket was full to the brim of teething toys :)  and i think we may have a future NBA or NFL player on our hands.  he is off the charts for weight (22.4lb) and height (i don't remember the exact measurement at the moment!) and doesn't appear to be slowing down any time soon.

little big man, there are no words for my love for you.  being your mom is just the most wonderful gift.

emma continues to be quite the ham! i didn't realize that my child was such a party animal.  we went to the wedding of sara and craig (sara's sister elisa is my oldest dearest friend) last night and she partied like a rock star.  we brought her on the dance floor and she went WILD!!!

she's definitely a two year old and learning who she is! but she's so much fun.  constantly full of the most hysterical commentary....it's so much fun actually having a conversation with her and hearing where her little mind goes.  she's quite into dress up, reading books, and as you can see below....getting into mommy's makeup.

my mischevious little monkey!  she's smart as a whip, this one.  i've started a journal of "the things she says" to give to her when she is older.  the pages are quickly filling with lots of comments that keep us in stitches.  for example.....while watching me changing ben's diaper the other day, she grabbed my leg and said "look mommy! ben has a little peanut!".  ryan and i just about died.

hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend.  i'm hoping to refocus myself and be more present on this blog doing what i love best....sharing funny thoughts, family pictures, and documenting our everyday journey.  thanks for being patient with me while i do just that!

xom

backyard bistro

we took advantage of the beautiful gainesville weather a few evenings ago and took dinner onto the back porch.  emma burned off the last bit of her day's energy as she flitted busily between the table and her outdoor toys, ben bounced happily in his bouncer with a pillow beneath his feet for cushion, and ryan and i enjoyed the evening calm of a lightly cool air and the soft dusk light.  it was almost ethereal out there and i plan on doing quite a bit more of outdoor dining in the coming days.

saturday snippets

happy weekend!! it's an amazingly beautiful easter weekend here in gainesville and we are sipping our coffee, eating our breakfast, and gearing up for some family fun!  

random thoughts and happenings around these parts ....

~ potty training is in FULL swing.  much of this is due to the girls at daycare working very hard with her during the day.  she goes to school in a pull-up and after breakfast goes right into big girl panties.  she's had a few accidents here and there but 90% of the time, she stays dry all day long.  when it's time to go home, back into a pullup to avoid accidents in the car.  we haven't been as diligent with her at home on the weekends ~ potty training is actually hard work, you have to stay pretty diligent in asking about her potty needs ~ but we're trying to be better.  you can tell she is SO proud of herself.  the only "downside" is that she really doesn't like being in a diaper anymore....so oftentimes i'll leave her for a few moments in her room and return to find her completely bottomless.  good bribe material if you ask me ;)

~ you know you've really hit full fledged parenthood when things like double strollers really get your excited.  we like to go on family walks in the evening and up until recently have been loading the kids up in one stroller.  no big deal but a little cumbersome.  i came home from work a few days back, surprised to find a huge box on the front porch.   my sweet hubby had purchased the double stroller i had my eye on and kept it a secret from me!  i'm sure i sound like a lunatic but i'm so stinkin excited about this thing. it makes walks and getting around SO much easier with 2....and let's be honest, we need ALL the help we can get!!

~ my husband is amazing. i'm so proud of him. just because :)

~ the little big man is almost 6 months old. i sat feeding him his evening bottle last night and was suddenly struck by how big he is, how fast time has flown, and just how in love with him i am.  my heart hurts a little to watch my little man growing so fast! i am certainly biased....but he is just the most amazing baby. he is remarkably happy....and remarkably hungry! he's 5 1/2 months old and wearing 12 month clothes....holy moly!!! he sleeps 12 hours a night, naps well, and is just the most cuddly flirty little thing.  the girls at daycare call him "ben-ben" and literally fight over him.  he makes eyes at them, bats those long lashes, and realllllly makes me nervous ;) he's sitting up, gnawing on everything, and loves watching his energetic sister. i can't say enough about this little one. i. LOVE. him. to pieces.

~ ryan and i have thought long and hard about the want and need to incorporate more spirituality into our daily lives....and especially into the lives of our children.  i grew up in the methodist church, and while my thoughts are right in line with many of the core values taught in that arena, ones like compassion for others, altruism, and loving kindness....there are other aspects of organized religion that are not very appealing to me.  i've never found my home amongst one religion or the other.  and while i'm not going to use this post to delve into my deeper feelings on the matter (that could take a while!), i do yearn for a spiritual community in my life.  i want my children to grow up with these ideas and values....primarily in our home but also reinforced by a greater community.  we were married by a young minister named Andy from the church that Ryan grew up in.  feeling this void, i reached out to him via email some months back.  he and his wife have 3 young children and i was curious about the best way to approach the feelings that i had.  amongst other things in his reply, i was struck by the quoted covenant of the church that he sent back to me...

We join as a spiritual community in this compact: To worship God, however known

To welcome into our church those of differing understanding and theological opinion,

to learn from our religious heritage yet to grow, by seeking new dimensions of truth,

To follow, even imperfectly, the way of Jesus in personal involvement with each other,

And, strengthened by this bond,to act in Christian concern for the welfare of all people.

what I am most drawn to in this compact is the open mindedness of this particular spiritual community. I find great hypocrisy in the way that some religious communities preach about love and understanding while practicing hatred and "judgementalism".  i don't want any part in that and i don't want my kids exposed to that kind of thought process.  i want them to learn about some of the stories in the bible, the torah, and more....and use the messages in those stories to teach them the values i described before.  

in addition to all of that, ryan and i are looking for our own piece of the puzzle. none of our close friends have children yet....and this is ok! we do feel lonely sometimes, though, because we don't have people we can talk to about the ups and downs of parenthood.  a small part of me hopes we can find some like minded young families to get to know :)

so we'll be going to church for the first time as a family tomorrow....easter sunday and also my mom's birthday!...and i'm really excited for this new journey.

~we've been lazily lounging around the house this morning :) both kids are now snoozing and i'm about to pop my headphones in and head out for a run in this amazing weather!  HAPPY WEEKEND!